David Lucas

There you go.

I'm only 29, so... Can I just say... I've got time to go.

How we doing, Mothership?

Yeah, we keeping it right, huh?

All right, well, yeah, they call me Bald Mike.

It's not because I have cancer.

I ain't dying, don't worry.

I just got a little alopecia, you know what I mean?

A little bit of that Jada Pinkett.

And it's come in handy sometimes.

I got it when I was young, so I had, like, patches of hair, and it got all frizzy.

It looked horrible.

But it really came in handy when my grandma died, of all times.

My parents, after dealing with all the bullshit, they were like, you know what, fuck it, let's go to Disney World.

And when I was a kid, I wasn't like...

I was just like, cool in an amusement park, let's go.

Went, had a blast, it was a great time.

But on the plane ride back, my parents were like, fuck it, let's get loaded.

So they're just getting rum and coke, beers, all that bullshit, left and fucking right.

And the second or third drink that they got, the stewardess came up to my mom and was like, listen, honey, I know this sounds weird, but God told me that I need to give you a hug.