David Samson

You can't show any of that.

You have to be a united front.

You have to be cheery and upbeat all the time when you feel like not being that any of the time.

And so it is a lot of acting.

It's a lot of pretending.

And the dichotomy of how you feel versus how you want to look is so different that you end up having to

use the other people in the room as your bellwether hey how do i look now because when you're crying you you can't stay in the room with her because you don't you don't you want her to see you crying and so we have a place where she is where we go and cry out of sight it's it's really something's as but you're right you don't want to ever show any of that to her

no i i've i'm not afraid to or ashamed to go full rosie greer i've cried every day since september 12th at some point uh there isn't a day that goes by where some where it's not in my head there's no escaping from it as i sit here with you there's no escape even doing nothing personal there's no escape so

I can't find the escape.

I don't know if it'll ever happen.

I don't know what therapists have been helpful with is trying to navigate the unnavigable.

And the problem is that it can't that road can't start right now because we're in such acute emergency situation that the only thing that matters is what we're doing in terms of care.

So the answer is every day is a struggle in a way that is hard to talk about.

And the video you're gonna show is a perfect example.

And I don't know how you got the video actually is a perfect example.

I think it could have been Bimmel that I recorded the show that just came out last night with Pablo.

That show was recorded yesterday.

And I was in between a treatment and in between a therapy session.

And I had to get to your studio to record in a certain timeframe.

And so the only way to do it was on a bicycle.