David Sedaris

No, I'd be better with a water creature. It would just be more sanitary, I guess.

No, I'd be better with a water creature. It would just be more sanitary, I guess.

A friend recently showed me a YouTube video and it was Spanish feminists protesting the rape of chickens. And I thought, oh, who would be so low as to rape a chicken? They meant roosters.

A friend recently showed me a YouTube video and it was Spanish feminists protesting the rape of chickens. And I thought, oh, who would be so low as to rape a chicken? They meant roosters.

A friend recently showed me a YouTube video and it was Spanish feminists protesting the rape of chickens. And I thought, oh, who would be so low as to rape a chicken? They meant roosters.

And then their point was that if you have free range chickens and a rooster starts raping, the chicken can run away or something. But if they're in close captivity, the chicken doesn't have any. And then I thought, Okay. Yeah, that's fine.

And then their point was that if you have free range chickens and a rooster starts raping, the chicken can run away or something. But if they're in close captivity, the chicken doesn't have any. And then I thought, Okay. Yeah, that's fine.

And then their point was that if you have free range chickens and a rooster starts raping, the chicken can run away or something. But if they're in close captivity, the chicken doesn't have any. And then I thought, Okay. Yeah, that's fine.

I'm okay with that. A female snapping turtle has no peace. The male is just constantly on top of it. But at least they can try to swim away or try to escape in a way that they couldn't if they were.

I'm okay with that. A female snapping turtle has no peace. The male is just constantly on top of it. But at least they can try to swim away or try to escape in a way that they couldn't if they were.

I'm okay with that. A female snapping turtle has no peace. The male is just constantly on top of it. But at least they can try to swim away or try to escape in a way that they couldn't if they were.

The Pope wanted to meet with humorists and comedians from around the world. Wow. So I was just minding my own business, and then I got an email. I guess it had been sent earlier, but it didn't get to me, and it said, Day after tomorrow, you're invited to meet the Pope. Oh, my God. And I was in England, so it was an easy flight.

The Pope wanted to meet with humorists and comedians from around the world. Wow. So I was just minding my own business, and then I got an email. I guess it had been sent earlier, but it didn't get to me, and it said, Day after tomorrow, you're invited to meet the Pope. Oh, my God. And I was in England, so it was an easy flight.

The Pope wanted to meet with humorists and comedians from around the world. Wow. So I was just minding my own business, and then I got an email. I guess it had been sent earlier, but it didn't get to me, and it said, Day after tomorrow, you're invited to meet the Pope. Oh, my God. And I was in England, so it was an easy flight.

So anyway, I thought, I'm not a Catholic, and I honestly don't care about the Pope, but I thought it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I'd be dumb not to do it. So I went, and I met the Pope. There was 100 of you invited? Yeah. When I came back, I was like, I met Chris Rock, because he was wonderful. Oh, wow. That to me was more like, oh, my God, I can't believe I met Chris Rock.

So anyway, I thought, I'm not a Catholic, and I honestly don't care about the Pope, but I thought it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I'd be dumb not to do it. So I went, and I met the Pope. There was 100 of you invited? Yeah. When I came back, I was like, I met Chris Rock, because he was wonderful. Oh, wow. That to me was more like, oh, my God, I can't believe I met Chris Rock.

So anyway, I thought, I'm not a Catholic, and I honestly don't care about the Pope, but I thought it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I'd be dumb not to do it. So I went, and I met the Pope. There was 100 of you invited? Yeah. When I came back, I was like, I met Chris Rock, because he was wonderful. Oh, wow. That to me was more like, oh, my God, I can't believe I met Chris Rock.

Most of the comedians were Italian, but they were from all over the world. I met this one woman from Switzerland. There was an Italian woman who was the only person to speak, and I'd met her before. Very well-known Italian comedian. And when I met her, she had just adopted two teenagers from Romania.

Most of the comedians were Italian, but they were from all over the world. I met this one woman from Switzerland. There was an Italian woman who was the only person to speak, and I'd met her before. Very well-known Italian comedian. And when I met her, she had just adopted two teenagers from Romania.

Most of the comedians were Italian, but they were from all over the world. I met this one woman from Switzerland. There was an Italian woman who was the only person to speak, and I'd met her before. Very well-known Italian comedian. And when I met her, she had just adopted two teenagers from Romania.