David Sedaris

I just can't imagine putting anything away. You know, like when you meet people who take three puffs of a cigarette and put it out. Four sips of wine. Right. Or just turn back to their scotch and it's all, all the ice is melted.

I just can't imagine putting anything away. You know, like when you meet people who take three puffs of a cigarette and put it out. Four sips of wine. Right. Or just turn back to their scotch and it's all, all the ice is melted.

I just can't imagine putting anything away. You know, like when you meet people who take three puffs of a cigarette and put it out. Four sips of wine. Right. Or just turn back to their scotch and it's all, all the ice is melted.

Well, last night at dinner, we split a piece of banana cream pie. But I felt good about that because I could have had a whole piece of banana cream pie for myself. But I need to lose 4.8 pounds by the 28th of March. Okay. What is happening on the 28th? I started a new tour.

Well, last night at dinner, we split a piece of banana cream pie. But I felt good about that because I could have had a whole piece of banana cream pie for myself. But I need to lose 4.8 pounds by the 28th of March. Okay. What is happening on the 28th? I started a new tour.

Well, last night at dinner, we split a piece of banana cream pie. But I felt good about that because I could have had a whole piece of banana cream pie for myself. But I need to lose 4.8 pounds by the 28th of March. Okay. What is happening on the 28th? I started a new tour.

I want to be 145 pounds when I start my tour. That's the only way I do it. I'm just strict with myself and I get out of control and then I kind of reign it. But it's like a five pound range.

I want to be 145 pounds when I start my tour. That's the only way I do it. I'm just strict with myself and I get out of control and then I kind of reign it. But it's like a five pound range.

I want to be 145 pounds when I start my tour. That's the only way I do it. I'm just strict with myself and I get out of control and then I kind of reign it. But it's like a five pound range.

Yeah, that's what I feel. That's so funny. My dad would get so mad. What did you have to say that for? But he never understood. My father would say, I love my mother. She was a wonderful woman. What was so great about her? Oh, I loved her. She was wonderful. How was she wonderful? She was a wonderful woman. And it's like, he could say to me, my mother... I was an alcoholic.

Yeah, that's what I feel. That's so funny. My dad would get so mad. What did you have to say that for? But he never understood. My father would say, I love my mother. She was a wonderful woman. What was so great about her? Oh, I loved her. She was wonderful. How was she wonderful? She was a wonderful woman. And it's like, he could say to me, my mother... I was an alcoholic.

Yeah, that's what I feel. That's so funny. My dad would get so mad. What did you have to say that for? But he never understood. My father would say, I love my mother. She was a wonderful woman. What was so great about her? Oh, I loved her. She was wonderful. How was she wonderful? She was a wonderful woman. And it's like, he could say to me, my mother... I was an alcoholic.

Or my mother pressed my face against the skillet one time to teach me a lesson. And she didn't do any of those things. It wouldn't make me dislike her. It would make her more real to me. Because when you're just saying she was a wonderful woman, you're not telling me anything. If you can include somebody's weaknesses... in something that you write. I wrote something recently.

Or my mother pressed my face against the skillet one time to teach me a lesson. And she didn't do any of those things. It wouldn't make me dislike her. It would make her more real to me. Because when you're just saying she was a wonderful woman, you're not telling me anything. If you can include somebody's weaknesses... in something that you write. I wrote something recently.

Or my mother pressed my face against the skillet one time to teach me a lesson. And she didn't do any of those things. It wouldn't make me dislike her. It would make her more real to me. Because when you're just saying she was a wonderful woman, you're not telling me anything. If you can include somebody's weaknesses... in something that you write. I wrote something recently.

When we were kids, we'd have dinner together and my father would leave, go downstairs the second he could. And the rest of us would sit around the table with my mother for hours and hours, 1030 on a school night. And we're still with our mother around the table. I think she really liked having a lot of kids and she liked us and we liked her.

When we were kids, we'd have dinner together and my father would leave, go downstairs the second he could. And the rest of us would sit around the table with my mother for hours and hours, 1030 on a school night. And we're still with our mother around the table. I think she really liked having a lot of kids and she liked us and we liked her.

When we were kids, we'd have dinner together and my father would leave, go downstairs the second he could. And the rest of us would sit around the table with my mother for hours and hours, 1030 on a school night. And we're still with our mother around the table. I think she really liked having a lot of kids and she liked us and we liked her.

And she would go to the bathroom and we would follow her to the bathroom and she would throw up every single night. And then she would come out and say, And it wasn't until you're older that you're like, oh, the dental problems, mama's bulimic. Maybe now it would be a bit different, but at the time there wasn't a word for it. That didn't make her a bad mother. No. Right.

And she would go to the bathroom and we would follow her to the bathroom and she would throw up every single night. And then she would come out and say, And it wasn't until you're older that you're like, oh, the dental problems, mama's bulimic. Maybe now it would be a bit different, but at the time there wasn't a word for it. That didn't make her a bad mother. No. Right.