David Sedaris

And he didn't threaten the teacher or anything.

He did it in really the perfect way.

And when I think about that, he's probably forgotten about it, this guy.

But, gee, it was such a...

It was huge to me.

I think about it quite often.

Oh, you too.

Thanks so much.

I found the book hidden in the woods beneath a sheet of plywood, its cover torn away and the pages damp with mildew.

I read, Brock and Bonnie Rivers stood in their driveway, waving goodbye to the Reverend Hasselbeck.

Goodbye, they said, waving.

Goodbye, the Reverend responded.

Tell those two teens of yours, Josh and Sandy, that they'll make an excellent addition to our young person's ministry.

They're fine kids, he said with a wink.

almost as fine and foxy as their parents.

The rivers chuckled, raising their hands in another wave.

When the reverend's car finally left the driveway, they stood for a moment in the bright sunshine before descending into the basement dungeon to unshackle the children.

The theme of the book was that people are not always what they seem.

Highly respected in their upper middle class community, the Rivers family practiced a literal interpretation of the phrase, love thy neighbor.

Limber as gymnasts, these people were both shameless and insatiable.