David Sedaris

So it's a lot.

What languages are you reading and saying aloud?

German and Spanish and French and Japanese.

That's a lot.

Now, this new obsession you have with hitting your step count via your Apple Watch and then also doing Duolingo, I'm curious, is this a stand-in for some kind of OCD that you may have?

Oh, yeah.

I mean, it's been all my life.

It's been one thing or another.

And I suppose the only good thing you can say about it is you don't know what it will be next, right?

Like it never occurred to me that the walking, I mean, I always walked everywhere, but it didn't occur to me that

I would simply have to walk a minimum of 10 miles a day before my friend Dawn came to visit and she had a Fitbit.

And it never occurred to me that I'd have the Duolingo thing until Dave, who was trying to learn Spanish, I was on a tour of the UK and he's my tour manager there and he showed me and signed me up on his program.

The day before that I was free, you know.

And it's been all my life, it's been one thing or another.

What was it before?

I'm trying to even think.

Because it's hard for me to give them up once I have them.

Well, like even writing in my diary, right?

I started writing in my diary one day when I was 20 years old.

And I've never not done it.