David Sedaris

It's so funny, though, how you can be on a plane and have a towering hatred for somebody and they have no idea.

I was in Australia a couple of weeks ago. They made an announcement. They said the flight to Tasmania is full. So we're asking you to gate check your bag. If you don't care to and you want to bring your bag on the plane, you'll soon find yourself in a situation where there's no room for your bag. We will gladly send it on the four o'clock flight. So that's a way to do it. Yeah, big threat.

I was in Australia a couple of weeks ago. They made an announcement. They said the flight to Tasmania is full. So we're asking you to gate check your bag. If you don't care to and you want to bring your bag on the plane, you'll soon find yourself in a situation where there's no room for your bag. We will gladly send it on the four o'clock flight. So that's a way to do it. Yeah, big threat.

I was in Australia a couple of weeks ago. They made an announcement. They said the flight to Tasmania is full. So we're asking you to gate check your bag. If you don't care to and you want to bring your bag on the plane, you'll soon find yourself in a situation where there's no room for your bag. We will gladly send it on the four o'clock flight. So that's a way to do it. Yeah, big threat.

I just had a knapsack, and I had something else under my seat, and I had my knapsack in the overhead bin. So he puts his bag in there, and he's pounding on it. It won't go in all the way because of my knapsack. Yeah. And I said, I think it won't go in there because of my knapsack. So he pulls my knapsack out and puts his bag in and says, what do you want me to do with this now? No, we didn't.

I just had a knapsack, and I had something else under my seat, and I had my knapsack in the overhead bin. So he puts his bag in there, and he's pounding on it. It won't go in all the way because of my knapsack. Yeah. And I said, I think it won't go in there because of my knapsack. So he pulls my knapsack out and puts his bag in and says, what do you want me to do with this now? No, we didn't.

I just had a knapsack, and I had something else under my seat, and I had my knapsack in the overhead bin. So he puts his bag in there, and he's pounding on it. It won't go in all the way because of my knapsack. Yeah. And I said, I think it won't go in there because of my knapsack. So he pulls my knapsack out and puts his bag in and says, what do you want me to do with this now? No, we didn't.

Stop it. I said, just go. And I was in first class. I said, just wherever you are back there— Just go.

Stop it. I said, just go. And I was in first class. I said, just wherever you are back there— Just go.

Stop it. I said, just go. And I was in first class. I said, just wherever you are back there— Just go.

I saw a flight attendant once. A guy was pounding on a bag to get it in. The flight attendant turned to me and said, I just thank God it's not a living thing. Yeah. But I had a towering hatred of a flight attendant. Ooh.

I saw a flight attendant once. A guy was pounding on a bag to get it in. The flight attendant turned to me and said, I just thank God it's not a living thing. Yeah. But I had a towering hatred of a flight attendant. Ooh.

I saw a flight attendant once. A guy was pounding on a bag to get it in. The flight attendant turned to me and said, I just thank God it's not a living thing. Yeah. But I had a towering hatred of a flight attendant. Ooh.

Because he was standing right at the door of the plane and he said, can I get you something to drink, young man? And so I just ignored him. And he said, young man? And I ignored him and he said, young man? And I said, I'm not young. Why don't you just say old man? Because that's what you mean. Oh. That's his charm.

Because he was standing right at the door of the plane and he said, can I get you something to drink, young man? And so I just ignored him. And he said, young man? And I ignored him and he said, young man? And I said, I'm not young. Why don't you just say old man? Because that's what you mean. Oh. That's his charm.

Because he was standing right at the door of the plane and he said, can I get you something to drink, young man? And so I just ignored him. And he said, young man? And I ignored him and he said, young man? And I said, I'm not young. Why don't you just say old man? Because that's what you mean. Oh. That's his charm.

You see it a lot with Bellman at hotels too. Yeah. Can I help you with that bag, young man? Yeah. And they say it to women more. Yeah. They'll say it to like a twisted stick figure with a walker. Hey, young lady. And she's supposed to say, he thinks I'm young.

You see it a lot with Bellman at hotels too. Yeah. Can I help you with that bag, young man? Yeah. And they say it to women more. Yeah. They'll say it to like a twisted stick figure with a walker. Hey, young lady. And she's supposed to say, he thinks I'm young.

You see it a lot with Bellman at hotels too. Yeah. Can I help you with that bag, young man? Yeah. And they say it to women more. Yeah. They'll say it to like a twisted stick figure with a walker. Hey, young lady. And she's supposed to say, he thinks I'm young.

new thing. Okay. And again, I go on these tours and that's why I'm traveling and somebody else is paying for my ticket and I'll admit it, I'm in first class. Already you're thinking, you don't have that much to complain about. Look, you're in first class. But the flight attendant kneels and looks at the manifest and says, Mr. David, what would you like?