David Sedaris
speaker
2,542 appearances
5 recordings
4 series
first heard Apr 2025
last heard 17 Aug
David Sedaris’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 4 in all, peaking in May 2026 with 2.
Appearances
Oops, wrong kid, my mother would have said.
Then she'd have slapped me twice as hard to make up for my mistake.
I was in Los Angeles not long ago, staying at a hotel in Belle Air.
Houses in that neighborhood start at twenty million dollars, so of course there are no sidewalks.
You wouldn't want the wrong people wandering in.
So I was on the far edge of a winding street, Porsches and BMWs racing by, when I saw a van sized private school bus pull up in front of a gated mansion.
A mother ushered her child aged seven or so through the door as I passed.
I walked on for another five minutes before turning back, surprised to see that the school bus hadn't moved in the time I'd been gone.
Rather it was where I had left it, the engine idling, the mother still at the door, mewing over the sound of her crying child Well Atticus, honey, where do you want to sit?
So the bus driver and all these kids had to wait until this one woman's son was happy with his seat.
I think that if you don't want to spank or slap your child, that is fine your decision.
But that other people should be completely allowed to.
pigglety.
But in this situation, the driver had every right to yank Atticus into whichever seat was empty, saying, Shut the fuck up, we're leaving.
who have no natural predators left.
Had I arrived at my elementary school with a bleeding head wound, explaining that my father had just thrown me out of his moving car because I was teasing my sister,
The teacher would have handed me a band-aid saying, Well, I hope you learned a lesson.
Now even a scratch on the back of your hand could get your parents locked up for abuse.
And children know this.
In a London park one afternoon, I saw a woman glaring into the distance to where three kids aged seven to nine were breaking branches off a tree.
Showing 1001–1020 of 2,542 · page 51 of 128
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