David Sutcliffe

I think discernment is the key. I don't think you have to share everything in a relationship. That's my feeling. But you have to be careful that you're not hiding because if you're hiding something, it's going to be felt, right? And if you're hiding it out of shame, that's going to be felt. And ultimately, it's going to come up. And we can dilute ourselves. We can rationalize.

I think discernment is the key. I don't think you have to share everything in a relationship. That's my feeling. But you have to be careful that you're not hiding because if you're hiding something, it's going to be felt, right? And if you're hiding it out of shame, that's going to be felt. And ultimately, it's going to come up. And we can dilute ourselves. We can rationalize.

I don't need to share everything with my partner. I don't need to share this. It's not really important. Um, but oftentimes it's that, that kind of vulnerability is terrifying, right. To really reveal who we actually are, uh, to our partners. And I think for men particularly, it's like to reveal that sometimes you're just afraid, right. that you have fear about whatever.

I don't need to share everything with my partner. I don't need to share this. It's not really important. Um, but oftentimes it's that, that kind of vulnerability is terrifying, right. To really reveal who we actually are, uh, to our partners. And I think for men particularly, it's like to reveal that sometimes you're just afraid, right. that you have fear about whatever.

I don't need to share everything with my partner. I don't need to share this. It's not really important. Um, but oftentimes it's that, that kind of vulnerability is terrifying, right. To really reveal who we actually are, uh, to our partners. And I think for men particularly, it's like to reveal that sometimes you're just afraid, right. that you have fear about whatever.

And there's something maybe shameful about that. And the reframe for me is that if you can take ownership of your fear and sort of be with it and not put it on her, you're not asking that she take care of it or do something about it, but what it does is it brings you into presence. Because she can feel that something's going on.

And there's something maybe shameful about that. And the reframe for me is that if you can take ownership of your fear and sort of be with it and not put it on her, you're not asking that she take care of it or do something about it, but what it does is it brings you into presence. Because she can feel that something's going on.

And there's something maybe shameful about that. And the reframe for me is that if you can take ownership of your fear and sort of be with it and not put it on her, you're not asking that she take care of it or do something about it, but what it does is it brings you into presence. Because she can feel that something's going on.

And so if you can name it for yourself and contain it within yourself, it actually creates safety. That kind of vulnerability is really important. The difference is if you're afraid and you're looking for her to be your mother and take care of you, or she has the instinct to want to take care of you because you're afraid.

And so if you can name it for yourself and contain it within yourself, it actually creates safety. That kind of vulnerability is really important. The difference is if you're afraid and you're looking for her to be your mother and take care of you, or she has the instinct to want to take care of you because you're afraid.

And so if you can name it for yourself and contain it within yourself, it actually creates safety. That kind of vulnerability is really important. The difference is if you're afraid and you're looking for her to be your mother and take care of you, or she has the instinct to want to take care of you because you're afraid.

Which as a man, you want to resist that because you don't want her to be your mother. But I think that kind of vulnerability is really important. I don't think you have to share all your troubles with them, all the details of the thing. But if I'm having a bad day, I want to make sure that my wife knows that it's not about her.

Which as a man, you want to resist that because you don't want her to be your mother. But I think that kind of vulnerability is really important. I don't think you have to share all your troubles with them, all the details of the thing. But if I'm having a bad day, I want to make sure that my wife knows that it's not about her.

Which as a man, you want to resist that because you don't want her to be your mother. But I think that kind of vulnerability is really important. I don't think you have to share all your troubles with them, all the details of the thing. But if I'm having a bad day, I want to make sure that my wife knows that it's not about her.

So I want to give her some kind of indication like what's going on for me, be present with her because that's what she's longing for. She's longing for me to be present. And if I don't reveal myself in those moments, I'm not present. And if I'm not present, she's going to be agitated.

So I want to give her some kind of indication like what's going on for me, be present with her because that's what she's longing for. She's longing for me to be present. And if I don't reveal myself in those moments, I'm not present. And if I'm not present, she's going to be agitated.

So I want to give her some kind of indication like what's going on for me, be present with her because that's what she's longing for. She's longing for me to be present. And if I don't reveal myself in those moments, I'm not present. And if I'm not present, she's going to be agitated.

She's going to create a story in her head that she's done something wrong or she's going to be upset or angry and something's going to happen. So that's 10. And it's not exactly an answer to your question, but that's how I think about all that stuff.

She's going to create a story in her head that she's done something wrong or she's going to be upset or angry and something's going to happen. So that's 10. And it's not exactly an answer to your question, but that's how I think about all that stuff.

She's going to create a story in her head that she's done something wrong or she's going to be upset or angry and something's going to happen. So that's 10. And it's not exactly an answer to your question, but that's how I think about all that stuff.