David

He's going to lay it down. I'm very open minded, but thank you.

He's going to lay it down. I'm very open minded, but thank you.

He's going to lay it down. I'm very open minded, but thank you.

I was eight years old, and I knew just what he was talking about. He was just saying the same thing I had read in my Bible dozens of times. As an evangelical Christian, I wanted desperately to please God, so for my entire adolescence and up into my twenties, I literally tried to avoid having lustful thoughts. I was taught this was possible.

I was eight years old, and I knew just what he was talking about. He was just saying the same thing I had read in my Bible dozens of times. As an evangelical Christian, I wanted desperately to please God, so for my entire adolescence and up into my twenties, I literally tried to avoid having lustful thoughts. I was taught this was possible.

Paul says in 2 Corinthians that we take every thought captive in the name of Jesus, which means that any spiritually healthy person ought to be able to control every thought in his head. Of course, in practice, this is even harder than it sounds.

Paul says in 2 Corinthians that we take every thought captive in the name of Jesus, which means that any spiritually healthy person ought to be able to control every thought in his head. Of course, in practice, this is even harder than it sounds.

So for young evangelicals like me, there's a whole sub-industry of sex advice columns and books with titles like Every Man's Struggle or Taking Thoughts Captive. You can find them in the For Men section of any Christian bookstore. The first thing they always tell you is that sex is a beautiful gift from God.

So for young evangelicals like me, there's a whole sub-industry of sex advice columns and books with titles like Every Man's Struggle or Taking Thoughts Captive. You can find them in the For Men section of any Christian bookstore. The first thing they always tell you is that sex is a beautiful gift from God.

Even though it's a gift, they don't want you to touch or even think about it because you're just going to ruin it with your filthy paws. Any physical pleasure, even pleasure you'd give yourself while alone, is completely forbidden. Then they tell you how to survive until marriage. They all run some variation on, you can't help the first glance, but you can prevent the second.

Even though it's a gift, they don't want you to touch or even think about it because you're just going to ruin it with your filthy paws. Any physical pleasure, even pleasure you'd give yourself while alone, is completely forbidden. Then they tell you how to survive until marriage. They all run some variation on, you can't help the first glance, but you can prevent the second.

This is Josh Harris in the audio version of his book, Not Even a Hint, Guarding Your Heart Against Lust. It's full of practical tips.

This is Josh Harris in the audio version of his book, Not Even a Hint, Guarding Your Heart Against Lust. It's full of practical tips.

Other tips. These books tell you to watch TV with a remote in your hand, so if a sexy beer commercial comes on, or when the sports camera cuts to the cheerleaders, you can immediately jump to another channel. And be honest with yourself. When you watch ESPN2, aren't you hoping to see gymnastics? And guys need daily quiet time to read the Bible and pray for strength in the fight against temptation.

Other tips. These books tell you to watch TV with a remote in your hand, so if a sexy beer commercial comes on, or when the sports camera cuts to the cheerleaders, you can immediately jump to another channel. And be honest with yourself. When you watch ESPN2, aren't you hoping to see gymnastics? And guys need daily quiet time to read the Bible and pray for strength in the fight against temptation.

I don't know why, but in my case, none of this ever worked. I wanted it to work, longed for it desperately. But every week or so, late at night, I'd give in. M happened again, I would write in my journal, as if it weren't an action, but an event. Something that could just engulf you like a flash flood or a car accident. Something so terrible it could only be referred to in code.

I don't know why, but in my case, none of this ever worked. I wanted it to work, longed for it desperately. But every week or so, late at night, I'd give in. M happened again, I would write in my journal, as if it weren't an action, but an event. Something that could just engulf you like a flash flood or a car accident. Something so terrible it could only be referred to in code.

I was an adulterer. That's what the Bible told me. And I struggled with the guilt of that every day. After high school, I went to a huge state college in Tucson. And on warm days, I would walk across campus feeling like a monster. Because I believed that noticing a girl's body was the spiritual equivalent of something like sexual assault.

I was an adulterer. That's what the Bible told me. And I struggled with the guilt of that every day. After high school, I went to a huge state college in Tucson. And on warm days, I would walk across campus feeling like a monster. Because I believed that noticing a girl's body was the spiritual equivalent of something like sexual assault.

I assumed all this was the same for all of us fundamentalist kids. At every All Guys Prayer meeting I ever went to, someone was always asking for help with their thought life. But I'd never actually asked if anyone had quite the same problems I did. So I called my friend Derek, a missionaries kid who was my best friend from church back then.