Dawn Huebner
speaker
203 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Jun 2018
last heard Jun 2018
Dawn Huebner’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
Because it turns out that if we tolerate the nervous feeling or tolerate the uncertain feeling, but still move towards whatever it is that's giving us that feeling, the feeling dissipates.
And we see that really nothing bad happens or we are capable.
of handling the situation.
Um, and that's a real revelation, like to see that just because I'm nervous, it doesn't mean that I can't do whatever the thing is.
Um, I talk to kids about things that are scary but safe and help kids to be able to identify that there are lots and lots of things that there's that are scary, but they're safe for us.
They're not dangerous.
Just because we're afraid doesn't mean that we're actually in danger.
Right, yes.
Yeah, so I think we always want to acknowledge and validate and empathize with our children's feelings, regardless of what those feelings are.
That doesn't mean that we have to agree with the feeling, but I think we want to recognize them.
When you do this externalization, it becomes easy to talk to a child about your worry, like your externalized worry is making you think X, making you think you can't handle this, making you
you think it's gonna be disastrous, making you think this is a big deal.
So you're kind of putting the strength or the intensity of the feeling off on the worry rather than being dismissive of a child's experience of something.
And that turns out to be a helpful thing.
Um, it's tricky because it doesn't work particularly well to force a child to do something.
you know, we all know that some kids get really explosive when they're forced to do it or they completely come to pieces, or some kids will kind of white knuckle it.
You know, they'll do something because they have to do it, but they don't really benefit.
They don't really take from that the experience of being capable.
And so kids really gain the most in terms of confidence when they electively step towards
difficult situations.
Showing 141–160 of 203 · page 8 of 11
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