Devin Sandiford

I pretend like this didn't happen and I don't tell anyone.

I tell my parents just small details.

But every time another black man comes into the news with a death, I picture myself on that curb and I picture my uncle and I know that I have a lot of pain.

And so I want to call my mom and find out what has happened to my uncle.

So I finally get the phone in my apartment and I call her.

And as I get a hold of her, we talk and I tell her about all these dehumanizing moments in my life.

And I open up to her and I tell her all the pain that I have and I ask her,

finally asked her to tell me about her brother and what happened.

And she tells me about his life, them growing up, and she tells me about the dress that she was wearing.

She was wearing this red dress on the day, and my uncle was kind of going a little crazy, and the cops had gotten called, and they had calmed him down.

But when he walked outside, the cops were out there with their guns drawn all around him.

And my dad was there saying, don't shoot, don't shoot, don't shoot.

And they shot him anyway.

and said that he had a weapon on him, but when they searched, they didn't find one.

And as my mom tells me this story, she's getting a little emotional.

But it's not until she gets to the part where she's talking about my grandma and how my grandma used to always just retell this story anytime a visitor would come over to the house.

And every time my grandma told the story, my mom had to relive the moment all over again.

And for the first time in my life, I'm seeing tears fill into my mom's eyes and I can just feel her pain.

And I feel so bad that I've brought her this pain.

And I thought I was supposed to be the peacemaker, but all I have done here is bring her this pain.