Devin Sandiford

But I know that I had to do this because I know there's so much pain inside of me and I haven't been able to give my heart to the people that I love and to bring peace to anyone from the pieces of my broken heart.

And as my mom continues to tell me more things, we talk for three hours, I realize that what I'm really looking for was a connection to my mom and to break the silence that I've been holding onto and to break the generational trauma that my family has gone through before it passes on to my sons.

And now all I can do is hope for healing as I continue to share my story and to share about the things, the pains from my life

And I think that begins as I speak my uncle's name for the first time.

My uncle's name was Roland Edwards, but I called him Uncle Ron.

Thank you.

In terms of starting to share these stories that aren't just hard for me, but I see them as ways in which I could cause pain to my family.

I don't want them to have to relive these moments.

It's very difficult for me to have done that, but also to know that I have a reason behind doing it.

And I realized that how much I had been like hurting my sons.

I either can hurt my parents and my family or I will hurt my sons.

And I had to make the choice.

And obviously being a parent, it was like, there's no way I'm going to purposely hurt my sons.

I can't pass them.

I can't pass this on to my sons.

Yeah.

I got to the place where I had planned to say my uncle's name, and I began to say his name and said the wrong name.

Instead of saying Ronald, I said Roland.

And then I like heard myself saying it.

And so it was done.