Devin

But then like, when I've brought this up to her throughout the process, the other kind of smaller fights for this nuclear one, I, I directly articulate, like, I'm afraid that you will leave if I don't give you what you want.

And she would kind of almost do this, not to overuse the word, but gaslight like, Oh,

why would I leave?

I'm not going to leave.

And then we get to the next fight and she's like, you know, I really can't do this anymore.

I don't want to do it.

And so it's like, she never says like, I will leave.

But she, she, she lays that thought in my head.

And the reason why she'll never say, Hey, Hey, listen, I'm, I'm all in.

It's because if she does that, she's putting down that, that weapon she's always had, which she knows is my greatest insecurity.

Like, I'm afraid you're going to leave.

So what if you do, what, what if you take all the bullets out of that weapon?

Yeah, I feel like she's – I think she looked into –

looked into divorce or anything.

But I think she's envisioned that and she realized how hard it is.

So now she's not planning actively leaving.

But my concern is that the next time, three months from now, she's like, hey, let's do whatever.

And I go, oh, we can't do that.

Then she's not getting what she wants.

She's not getting fed that.