Dhru Purohit

And that's a compromise that they can both kind of reach.

It's about having these

creative solutions, right?

Or maybe it's that one partner wants to try out a certain type of sexual activity that the other one feels uncomfortable with, right?

So I'll give you an extreme example.

I had a couple who described to me where one of them wanted to, you know, tie the other one up and they felt really uncomfortable with that.

And they kind of felt like,

Why does my partner want to tie me up?

What does that mean?

What does that mean about how they feel about me?

What does that mean about our relationship dynamics?

You know, do they just want to take control of me in the rest of my life?

And if you can have a conversation and understand that what you do in the bedroom, your erotic life in the bedroom is very different than your erotic, than your mental life outside the bedroom.

And oftentimes the things that we fantasize about and the people that we become in the

are politically incorrect, are the opposite of the people that we are during the day.

And so again, this kind of circles back to the topic we talked about earlier, where it's often not the sex act itself that feels so scary, but the meaning assigned to it.

And so if couples can talk about, in this instance, where they were able to understand, it's not that

you know, the one partner wants to, you know, literally have her husband dominate her in other areas of her life, or, you know, be at all aggressive towards her.

But maybe it's that in the rest of her life, she feels like she has all these responsibilities, has to be very dominant in other aspects,

And so when she comes into the bedroom, she likes that kind of taboo position of being tied up or being, you know, having a little bit every now and then more of a sort of spicy, aggressive type of sex.