Diane von Furstenberg
Appearances
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
Actually, I think you could wear culottes until you're 90.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
I mean, it depends how short they are. I mean, I don't think you should try to look sexy because that looks ridiculous.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
No, just in behavior. I think it's beautiful to live who you are. And you are, you know, you are accumulation of all your life. So the most important thing is to be true to yourself. As long as you're true to yourself, you are free.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
That was two years ago, I think. Yeah, for my 74th birthday. Yeah, I have a tendency to think that, at least in my case, when I look at myself in the mirror, I find my strength there. So somehow, when I look at myself in the mirror, I like it. And then sometimes I see a picture of me and I say, oh, my God, that's not how I feel.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
Listen, I don't judge anyone. Everyone has the right to do whatever they want. Right. I have a tendency, since I'm a little girl, to find a tiny bit destroyed look attractive. Because it's lived. So I like the lived. I never wanted to be a little girl. I always wanted to be a woman. I always aged myself. By the time I got to be 20, my mother said, how does it feel to be 20?
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
And I remember I told her, I've been saying I'm 20 for the last five years. So I've never wanted to be younger. I always look forward to be older.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
I used to put Kleenex in my bra because I didn't have any breasts. So, you know, we never like what we are. Yeah, I know. Yeah.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
Well, I never really thought of me as a leader. I prefer to think that I'm an inspirer. You know, I prefer to inspire rather than lead. But aren't you in charge, Diane? Yes, but you know, I mean, to be in charge is first and foremost a commitment to ourselves. It's owning who we are. We own our imperfection. They become assets. We own our vulnerability. We turn it into strength. Yes.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
So to be in charge is really got to do with yourself. And everything has got to do with the relationship you have with yourself. Because the most important relationship in life is the one you have with yourself. Once you have that, any other relationship is a plus and not a must. And I never want to be needy ever. To anyone. For me, the most important thing is to be self-reliant.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
My children, I mean, for me, loving your children is making them independent. That's how you love your children, because you equip them for life.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
I mean, you know, I mean, I was very successful, extremely young, right? By 26, 27, I was on the cover of all the magazines. I mean, I was an entrepreneur. But you go up, you go up. What goes up must go down. You face difficulties. You go through all kinds of things. And what is important is not to pretend you're not.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
But facing it, facing the obstacles, facing the difficulties and owning them and dealing with them. And then all of a sudden you turn them into assets. I don't get the sense you hold back how you're feeling. Do you let people know how you're feeling? You see, the thing that explains who I am is the fact that 18 months before I was born, my mother was liberated from Auschwitz.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
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She weighed 49 pounds. She was a skeleton in the midst of a field of ashes. She couldn't move. She could not move. She went back to Belgium. Her mother couldn't believe that she had survived. She was 21 years old. And she fed her like a little bird every 10 minutes. And within six months, she looked normal. Her fiancé, who had been in Switzerland, came. They met.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
They get married and the doctor said, no matter what, you cannot have a child for at least two years because you will not make it and your child will not be normal. And sure enough, she got pregnant and I was born nine months later. And in a sense, you could say I was not normal. But the fact that I was so close to that, my existence, my mere birth was a triumph over misery.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
And therefore, just the fact that I was born was a triumph. I had won just because I was born. And my mother used to say, God saved me so that I can give you life. By giving you life, you gave me my life back. You are my torch of freedom. So I was born with a torch of freedom in my hands, which as a little girl could be difficult. My mother, for example, would never allow me to be afraid.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
If I was afraid of the dark, she would lock me in the dark closet. Today she could be arrested for it, but she made me fearless. And I'm thankful that she did that. She never wanted me to be a victim. Never be a victim, no matter what happens. And that's how you build your character. Because the only thing that you have complete control of, the only thing, is your character.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
You could lose your health. You could lose your wealth. You could lose your job. You could lose your husband. You could lose your family. You could lose everything, but you never lose your character. And that character is the little house inside yourself that is called strength.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
Yes. And my mother was also alive when my children were growing up. My mother died. They were already, both my children were parents. Oh, wow. She gave that survival strength to them as well. Yes. And we all have that incredible survival thing.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
I mean, I don't know. I mean, 28 years ago, I was diagnosed with cancer. Yeah. I mean, that's never pleasant. No. And but I dealt with it. You know, I say, OK, this is what happened. This is what the doctor can do. This is what I can do. And I just dealt with it. Right. And I mean, you know. My mother told me fear is not an option. So fear is always pushed away.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
Because, I mean, if you push the fear away, everything stays the same. But at least you could deal with that without the fear, you know? Right. And I have a new trick. A friend of mine lately was, she was going through very, very difficult times. medical tests and it was very painful.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
And she called me, she's in California, I'm in New York, and she calls me and it's 12 o'clock for me and I don't know what to tell her. And so I don't know what happened to me. I said, you know what, tomorrow when you do that, push your fear away, push your emotion and just go through it like you were watching a documentary. And the next day she called me and she said, you know, it was so helpful.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
So now that's my new trick.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
Yeah.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
Relax also is a weird word. What should I say instead? Empty the noise, you know. It's empty the corridor. Silence, solitude. That is what is the most restorative thing. So I need to be alone. Mm-hmm. I need to be in nature. Yes. Solitude, silence, all of that is very restorative. Yeah, I find the same.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
I swim a lot. I swim a lot in the ocean, very far. And therefore, I'm alone between the sea and the sky. And I'm just this tiny little dot. And I go into deep meditation. And that is probably the most restorative thing.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
I got one of those, too, that blocks the sun.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
No, otherwise I would burn because I swam two hours at the time. So I could not do that unless I wore something.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
No, no. It's maybe one mile. Yeah, maybe one mile. I mean, we're very lucky we have a boat. And so I go far in the ocean, in the sea, and there's a tiny little boat that follows me, but very far. And I go through all the meditation. I have these sutras that Deepak Chopra taught. So I have this routine that I go. And by the time I'm finished with the whole routine, and then they...
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
They become prayers. And then I think about each one of my children, my grandchildren. So the whole ceremony of my meditation takes about an hour and a half because then I turn and I say, how long have I been in? And usually they say between an hour 10 and another 30 and an hour. And then I stay a little longer.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
I should meditate more consciously, but I do empty my mind. Yes, I do that. Otherwise, I couldn't be. I hate the noise. I don't like small talk. I don't like any of that. And I love nature. I mean, nature for me is everything. As long as I have nature on one side and my phone and the Internet, I don't need anything.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
No, I struggled. Yeah, I did struggle. In the beginning?
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
No, no, no. I mean, I—you know, after my big success, you know— Yes. Yeah, I had a lot of very stressful moments, yes. But you know, you forget. You forget the bad things. Like you forget the physical pain. You forget it. Once it's done, you forget it. And every single thing, every negative experience in your life ends up being an experience and turns into something.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
That's another trick that I always tell my friends. You know, sometimes, you know, my friend, I mean, I don't know, they do a movie or they do a book and it's not, or their company is going bankruptcy. They get bad press and they just feel so bad. And I always say the same thing. I said, this moment that is so hard will be the best anecdote when you write your book or you tell your TED Talk.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
That's right.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
Exactly. Yeah. And your experience, especially when, you know, you are a person, a public person, right? Your job is a purpose. So when something, what is inspiring to other people is not your success, your Emmy or your ESCO or whatever. What is inspiring is when you talk about your vulnerability. That is inspiring. Yeah, right. Exactly. Exactly.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
You know, you change. I mean, now I'm, you know, I'm born on New Year's Eve. That's a great birthday. Well, it's very neat. Yeah. You know, when the year is over, it's over. Yeah. So as a result of that, I always do New Year's resolution, blah, blah, blah. So now... you know, now I'm entering the winter of my life, which could be a short winter, a long winter.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
I don't know that, but it's the winter of my life. And therefore, at this time of my life, it is more important than ever to really focus on using my voice, my knowledge, my experience, my wisdom, my connection, my resources in order to help others and to kind of, you know, improve the world and society to the best we can. And right now it's so discouraging.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
The world seems so corrupt and so awful that I think we have to look for the light, even if it's just a tiny little bit of light and build around the light, cherish the light, share the light, because at the end, it is the light that pushes the darkness away.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
Okay, so Andre was, first of all, my friend. He was my friend for over 45 years. He happened to be also a formidable person. But if you're talking about ending, and it was very sad that he died. He died January 18 last year. But strangely enough... His life has become even bigger. Really? Since he died. How? Well, the recognition that he has received. Yes.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
And the recognition of his book and his work. And, you know, he was almost evicted from his house. a few months before he died but didn't, and now the street names his name. So there is no such thing as ending. It's evolution. We are all part of nature, and we evolve into something else.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
Yes, yes. But death, you know, life is a journey. Death is a destination. We all die. So, I mean, there's not a day in my life that I don't think about death. And that is my way of dealing with it. So, you know. I mean, that happens to everyone.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
The only thing you regret in life is the things you don't do. Right. And I did pretty much all I could do.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
Or both? Oh, I don't know. My big fault in business is that I enable people. Because I feel like I can make things happen. I think that everyone can make things happen. But, you know, I don't think I'm a great businesswoman. I think I am a very good manifester. I can manifest things. I can make things happen. I am somewhat a little bit of a visionary, but I'm definitely not an executive.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
Nor do I want to be.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
Is that true? Yeah, yes. And manifester. I believe in manifestation. You know, you have a vision and you make it happen.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
Oh, my God. Everything about my life. Hmm. Everything. Like, for example, now I have this vision that my last act, Venice, the city of Venice, is going to play a very large role in my life. Why? Because I fell in love. with Venice, not only for its beauty, but for its history. 1,600 years. For me, Venice is a woman, and she's had the most extraordinary life. She's invented everything.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
She invented the banking system. She invented the banknote. She invented diplomacy, the passport, the custom. Everything that we use in the modern world was invented in Venice. And I had this vision that I think Venice should be a place where we kind of elevate the debate and where people meet. And I see Venice as a think tank. And so that's my vision, how I would like to spend a lot of my winter.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
I hope you do it. I know you'll do it. And I'll invite you. Would you? Yeah, because you're an idea person. You also are definitely a manifester. You are a very generous manifester. You have ideas and you make them happen. Thank you for saying that. And I would be very curious to hear you or to interview you for that matter. We could turn around the next time.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
Well, thank you very much for asking me. And continue to be the woman you are. You are definitely inspiring. Thank you. Back at you, DVF. Bye, Darlene.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
74, 1974.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
Wow. That was quite an entrance.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
Oh, yes, I'm 76. But I really, really should be 300. Why? Well, because I've had a very full life. I've done a lot of things, lots of travels, lots of people, lots of... So I feel like there's no way I can make myself even a day younger because I feel like I have lived... Very much every moment.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
No. Well, I feel my age. I feel that I have lived every single day of my life. In that life, in that short life, even though I'm 76, I have piled up so much that I certainly could not feel any younger. I am who I am. So I get the sense you love being your age. Well, I love being alive. Yeah. That's how long I have been alive. So, yes.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
Oh, nice. That's good. And you were how old?
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
Do you remember your first souvenir? What is it that you did in that dress?
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
Oh, you look super hot. I need that picture. Okay. I want a copy of that picture. It needs to go in my archive.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
You look hot.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
I think the most important thing is to be true to yourself and to like yourself as much as possible. So obviously the staple should be what you are comfortable in and something that represents you at the best way or that allows you to be yourself, you know? And listen, when I created that dress, I had no idea that I would... I would eventually sell tens of millions of them.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
But it did something. It awakens things in people. And I don't know. So, you know, I mean, I created the wrap dress, but truly it's the dress that created me because it gave me my freedom. It gave me my independence. It gave me my identity. So... It's one of those things. But as far as, I think every woman, like you have a small waist, so wrap dresses obviously look good on you.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
I don't really have a small waist, so I go for more fluid. But every one of us finds something... that we have a tendency to go to. To accentuate like, you mean? Yeah, and it becomes your personality and your style.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
And so, you know, for DVF, it's about making clothes, you know, thinking about all the different morphology of a woman, you know, with the one who likes to accentuate the waist, the one who doesn't, and therefore you go fluid. And the ones who are very body calm, who like to show the entire body. Then you deal with the fabric. Fabrication is so important.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
And then, of course, we have colors and we have prints. So in DVF, the colors are our letters. The prints are the words. The fabrication and the silhouette makes the sentence. Nice.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
No, I don't think that's stupid. I don't think I have a white blouse, actually. Do you want me to get you a white blouse? No, not particularly. Okay. You know, but I could tell you, I would say everybody needs a black turtleneck. Ah, this is good to know.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
Okay, first of all, the word aging, I would change the word aging and say living, right? Oh, thank you. That's perfect. Perfect. Age is life. Yes. So instead of saying, how old are you? People should say, how long have you lived? Oh, my God.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
And automatically it changes everything, even to a child. Yes. How long have you lived, little boy? I have lived 11 years. Wow. That's impressive. Yeah. And then if you ask an older person, I have lived 76 years. Wow. You know, so aging for me is life. It is not a decay. Yes, yes, yes. It's a continuation of life.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
So for me, aging is the proof of living. Mm-hmm. And also, if you have, if you manage to be my age, well, it's already, I mean, I thought I was going to die before I was 30. Why? Why? Because I had done so much in my 20s that I didn't think that it was possible to continue like that. I see. And so I thought that all these things, I had two children by the time I was 24.
Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Listen Again: Julia Gets Wise with Diane von Furstenberg
I had a successful business. I bought my house. So I did basically everything before I was 30. So I used to think that that would be the end. And then it turned out not to be.