Dr. Alison Wood Brooks

You don't need to have a deep conversation with, you know, your barista or even your work colleagues.

Sometimes.

There are some contexts where it's appropriate and called for and magical and some where it's not.

But when you do find yourself there, you should appreciate it.

It's really special.

It's like we're all on these journeys looking for those magical moments of connection.

And sometimes they happen.

Can I ask you a follow-up question before I answer, which is when you're thinking of people dominating a conversation, it's almost always in a group.

Are you imagining a group?

That's right.

And it is hard work, especially for someone who has a lot to say, has a lot of ideas, who is high status or is in the habit of sharing what's on their mind.

So I ask you this question because when we think of dominating airtime, it's almost always in a group, right?

When you are in a one-on-one conversation, we have easier tools to interrupt someone or to sort of plow over them or even a little bit signal that they're talking too much, right?

It's easier.

In a group, it's maddening.

You have way less control over stopping someone.

And it's really hard for high status people to give other people that space.

I too have to work very hard to not talk too much in a group setting.

I got a lot to say and a lot of energy, right?

And that takes effort and it's like a skill unto itself to give other people that space.