Dr. Alok Kanojia

One thing I wanted to touch on is this question of how to want, so I've devoted myself to this in the last year or two.

Okay, sweet.

How do I get my wife to want to want me?

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, and I'm not saying that from like my marriage perspective.

I did go through somewhat of a midlife crisis.

I think we don't advertise.

One thing that we should let people know more is that midlife crises, I think, are developmentally appropriate.

I think they just happen.

They should happen, and it's part of growing up.

So a couple questions that I work with when I work with someone, I'll ask someone, when was the last time that they wanted you?

And what were the conditions during that time?

Yeah, right?

So what we need to understand is desire is something that grows.

It's not something that you turn on or turn off.

And you kind of talk about emotional connection.

So I'm not surprised at all that we basically ended up in a very similar place.

But oftentimes what happens is, you know, early on in relationships, there's a lot of space for desire.

There's a lot of space for emotional connection.

And then we get mortgages and then we get kids and we get all these kinds of things.