Dr. Alok Kanojia

Another really interesting data point because I'm excited about this.

But women who are of average attractiveness and high signaling are more likely to end up in a relationship and be approached than women who are very high attractiveness and low signaling.

Could you define signaling?

Yeah.

Making it known that you're open for a relationship, eye contact, smiling.

So this is what people don't understand is like they think like, OK, if I'm hot, things will happen.

That's not how it works at all.

There's a lot about how to flirt, how to communicate interest, how to be embarrassed.

And all of these things are like positive things that people don't understand.

That charisma is about having vision because if you're looking for a long-term partner and they're trying to figure out, can I be with this person?

They have to have a sense of your vision of life to see if they fit with you.

It's actually way more important than looks.

The ability to handle adversity, huge element of charisma.

So someone wants to know if stuff goes south, can I count on you?

Way more important than looks.

So the only thing with looks is that in online dating specifically, people will judge based on looks.

But there are numerous studies that show – not numerous actually.

One study at least that I've seen that shows that if your profile indicates purpose, man or woman, it increases your attractiveness.

So the problem with all the social media stuff is not that it's wrong.

I work with a lot of incels.