Dr. Alok Kanuja (Dr. K)

So there's sort of a tendency for fantasy.

And once again, we talked about this on the OCD side, but I think once again, we're sort of on this bell curve.

So here's the ADHD bell curve.

And if you're over here, you get diagnosed with ADHD, but the limerence people are over here with a tendency to fantasize

more than normal, a tendency to use fantasy as an emotional coping mechanism, right?

And an inability to control

their attention right this is why you have those intrusive thoughts you can't stop thinking about them these thoughts come in you can't restrain your mind and so what i'm sort of envisioning with people who have limerence is that there's like a constellation of these things they're not necessarily adhd enough to have adhd they're not necessarily ocd enough to have ocd they're not necessarily like you know it's not just anxious attachment that's not sufficient to explain it

So when you have a brain that has a tendency towards fantasy, a tendency towards intrusive thinking, compulsive thinking, and then you have an attachment injury that may be that very specific kind where someone once shows up and saves the world for you for like an hour, then all of these things kind of mix together into a stew that results in limerence.

And this is also why, generally speaking, it's on the rarer side, right?

I think the amount of it is increasing very rapidly.

So it seems to be way more common.

We'll talk about that, why that is in a couple minutes.

But, you know, this is why it's like, you know, on the rarer side.

The last thing that we have to talk about is there's absolutely a physiological component.

So this isn't nearly as sexy or interesting as the other pieces.

But there are just studies that show that there's a certain activation of the nervous system where people tend to be highly anxious.

They get a lot of sympathetic nervous system activity.

Their fight or flight response tends to be really, really hyperactive.

And it also gets soothed.

by their responses, right?