Dr. Amir Levine

It doesn't work that way.

It really doesn't work that way.

So if you can take out that sort of sting of blame, then you can give them more ease to sort of help parents sort of be more at ease with things.

I think that's helpful.

But I also think

As a parent, you see these things, how they struggle in relationships, with friendships, how painful it can be.

So I really think teaching that idea of the consistent, available, responsive... Actually, I teach psychology...

psychologist at Columbia.

We have a clinical seminar and I teach how to do therapy and I bring in a little excerpt when there's a girl that talks about how her best friend kind of like dissed her and her mother shows, you know what, we'll show her.

We'll create this party and we're not going to invite her and she's going to come grovel

Only when she cries and grovels, only then will you accept her.

And they do that, and she comes crying and groveling, and she accepts her.

But what the mother doesn't know and doesn't understand, because she doesn't have that whole carpsimis understanding, is that she's only, okay, now the friend is back, but she's perpetuated sort of like an insecure relationship for her daughter.

Yes.

And by actually saying, you know what, so maybe this friend who is not CARP, maybe you should look for more CARP friends.

And really teaching.

So once you have the lingo, you can teach kids also how to create a secure environment for them.

But if you don't know it, then sometimes parents do the opposite.

For me, at least, I look for something simple that people can use to create a more secure life.

I'm going to make me start crying because I really think about, I love talking to my mom.