Dr. Angela Duckworth

He said, I am very successful.

I've been promoted.

Everybody thinks I'm great.

I don't know what to do next.

And we get into this conversation, and it's very clear to me, as he basically summarizes later in the conversation, that he has never made a decision in his life based on what was easy for him, what was enjoyable for him, what gave him energy, what made him feel alive.

He said, I had a rule.

More suffering, better.

harder, better, right?

And so I did tell him the same thing that I tell to my students.

I'm like, oh, two stages.

Yeah, work hard, but first choose easy.

Yeah.

Well, there is, I'm sure, you know, many people have heard, and I know you know a lot about this intrinsic versus extrinsic motivation distinction, right?

And one of the things that, you know, has emerged is a really, I think it's a very important research literature.

It goes back at least 50 years.

One of the stages in which our motivation evolves to be intrinsic is a stage where you are internalizing

the motivations of others around you, right?

So if you have parents who play a lot of tennis, you know, you may start playing tennis and at some point it becomes internal to you.

And then you're 45 years old and you want to go play tennis.

And that is actually a healthy thing that many intrinsic motivations begin outside of us.