Dr. Angela Duckworth

She thinks I think too much.

She's like, oh, there you go again.

And when I came to think about it over the next few days after that conversation with Dee, I tried to answer every question where I was about to say, well, because I should do it, right?

Because I should go to Pilates.

Because I should go buy the groceries on the way home because I should have a conversation with this student.

I just asked myself a different question.

I said, can I talk about this without this word?

And, you know, to my amazement, words came out in almost every case.

I want to help this young person.

I see myself in this young person.

I can see a future that this person doesn't yet see.

I want to is entirely different than I should.

And I wrote Dee an email not more than a few days, I think three days ago.

I said, Dee, I just wanted to let you know, I think you're right about the word should.

I...

Don't think living our lives in service to other people's desires in that way does anybody a service.

That's not, by the way, what scientists mean by beyond the self-purpose, like shouldering all of these, you know, burdens and adopting other people's goals in a way that feels inauthentic to ourselves.

So, yeah, let's see how many minutes or hours we can go in our, you know, next 24 hours without saying the word should even once.

I love that.

interested, of course, but you have a second motivation on top of that, and that is the desire to improve.