Dr. Becky Kennedy

Okay. So I'm in I can't mode. Okay. If something is in I can't mode, if it feels too hard, I hear her voice. It just means the first step isn't small enough. So I'll make it literally, I'll just make it smaller. I'm going to write a page today. And then often I'm like, I can't do that. Okay. Smaller. A paragraph. No. And I literally do it until, and some days it's a word. And I go...

Okay. So I'm in I can't mode. Okay. If something is in I can't mode, if it feels too hard, I hear her voice. It just means the first step isn't small enough. So I'll make it literally, I'll just make it smaller. I'm going to write a page today. And then often I'm like, I can't do that. Okay. Smaller. A paragraph. No. And I literally do it until, and some days it's a word. And I go...

Okay. So I'm in I can't mode. Okay. If something is in I can't mode, if it feels too hard, I hear her voice. It just means the first step isn't small enough. So I'll make it literally, I'll just make it smaller. I'm going to write a page today. And then often I'm like, I can't do that. Okay. Smaller. A paragraph. No. And I literally do it until, and some days it's a word. And I go...

could write a word. Okay. Now we're not. Okay. Right. And I really think Ms. Edson was ahead of her time. I mean, obviously now we talk a lot about frustration tolerance, growth mindset, but this really is a way of saying when things are hard, it's not your fault. And there's something you can do to build the circuit of capability.

could write a word. Okay. Now we're not. Okay. Right. And I really think Ms. Edson was ahead of her time. I mean, obviously now we talk a lot about frustration tolerance, growth mindset, but this really is a way of saying when things are hard, it's not your fault. And there's something you can do to build the circuit of capability.

could write a word. Okay. Now we're not. Okay. Right. And I really think Ms. Edson was ahead of her time. I mean, obviously now we talk a lot about frustration tolerance, growth mindset, but this really is a way of saying when things are hard, it's not your fault. And there's something you can do to build the circuit of capability.

Because I think when we're trying to do something hard, there are like, if you think about it, I don't know, you're on the top of a ski mountain, and on the one side is the I can't, it's too hard, and the other side is I can, we all have natural capability. I really believe this, every person. But it's just about figuring out how to get your skis, like, to the beginning of the ski slope.

Because I think when we're trying to do something hard, there are like, if you think about it, I don't know, you're on the top of a ski mountain, and on the one side is the I can't, it's too hard, and the other side is I can, we all have natural capability. I really believe this, every person. But it's just about figuring out how to get your skis, like, to the beginning of the ski slope.

Because I think when we're trying to do something hard, there are like, if you think about it, I don't know, you're on the top of a ski mountain, and on the one side is the I can't, it's too hard, and the other side is I can, we all have natural capability. I really believe this, every person. But it's just about figuring out how to get your skis, like, to the beginning of the ski slope.

And then maybe if we've practiced being on the I can't do hard things slope, our skis keep trying to turn, but we just have to keep getting them back. And so if we tell ourselves, I can't do this, and we just stay there, stagnant. But if you say, wait, smaller, smaller, smaller, smaller. Like I used this with a client a while ago. I can't ask my boss for a raise. I know I deserve it. Cool.

And then maybe if we've practiced being on the I can't do hard things slope, our skis keep trying to turn, but we just have to keep getting them back. And so if we tell ourselves, I can't do this, and we just stay there, stagnant. But if you say, wait, smaller, smaller, smaller, smaller. Like I used this with a client a while ago. I can't ask my boss for a raise. I know I deserve it. Cool.

And then maybe if we've practiced being on the I can't do hard things slope, our skis keep trying to turn, but we just have to keep getting them back. And so if we tell ourselves, I can't do this, and we just stay there, stagnant. But if you say, wait, smaller, smaller, smaller, smaller. Like I used this with a client a while ago. I can't ask my boss for a raise. I know I deserve it. Cool.

No problem. Let's make it smaller. Okay. What would be smaller? I don't know. Let's get creative. Could you write down what you would say? Okay. No. Could you say the word to me five times out loud? Raise, raise, raise, raise, raise. I remember she laughed. She goes, I can do that. Cool. Let's What I think is so powerful about Ms.

No problem. Let's make it smaller. Okay. What would be smaller? I don't know. Let's get creative. Could you write down what you would say? Okay. No. Could you say the word to me five times out loud? Raise, raise, raise, raise, raise. I remember she laughed. She goes, I can do that. Cool. Let's What I think is so powerful about Ms.

No problem. Let's make it smaller. Okay. What would be smaller? I don't know. Let's get creative. Could you write down what you would say? Okay. No. Could you say the word to me five times out loud? Raise, raise, raise, raise, raise. I remember she laughed. She goes, I can do that. Cool. Let's What I think is so powerful about Ms.

Edson's advice is as soon as we get even our skis a tiny bit into the I can circuit, the I can slope, we're actually just a lot more likely to stay there, or at least that becomes a bigger part of our identity, right? So with this woman that I was working on this with, one of the things we were working on, it was just, okay, so you did that. Amazing.

Edson's advice is as soon as we get even our skis a tiny bit into the I can circuit, the I can slope, we're actually just a lot more likely to stay there, or at least that becomes a bigger part of our identity, right? So with this woman that I was working on this with, one of the things we were working on, it was just, okay, so you did that. Amazing.

Edson's advice is as soon as we get even our skis a tiny bit into the I can circuit, the I can slope, we're actually just a lot more likely to stay there, or at least that becomes a bigger part of our identity, right? So with this woman that I was working on this with, one of the things we were working on, it was just, okay, so you did that. Amazing.

The next thing I even just had her play around things saying to me, can you say to me, I deserve a raise. It was very interesting. I think this is one of the reasons she had trouble speaking up for it. It was really hard for her to embody that. We said that. She couldn't. I remember a week she said, I'm going to write it down and bring it. She didn't. Again, I like parenting. I didn't punish her.

The next thing I even just had her play around things saying to me, can you say to me, I deserve a raise. It was very interesting. I think this is one of the reasons she had trouble speaking up for it. It was really hard for her to embody that. We said that. She couldn't. I remember a week she said, I'm going to write it down and bring it. She didn't. Again, I like parenting. I didn't punish her.