Dr. Becky Kennedy

And so our tolerance for our kids tantruming about a puzzle was higher because we're like, what else am I going to do than tolerate this tantrum?

And so our tolerance for our kids tantruming about a puzzle was higher because we're like, what else am I going to do than tolerate this tantrum?

And so our tolerance for our kids tantruming about a puzzle was higher because we're like, what else am I going to do than tolerate this tantrum?

So the thing I think these kids are missing is a space to struggle, to not know, to be left out sometimes, to not be able to read right away, to just be able to struggle and muddy your way through it, and to also not have your parents watching and orchestrating every moment to put you in a bubble. Like, I can't even tell you how many people I know. And again, it's such good intentions.

So the thing I think these kids are missing is a space to struggle, to not know, to be left out sometimes, to not be able to read right away, to just be able to struggle and muddy your way through it, and to also not have your parents watching and orchestrating every moment to put you in a bubble. Like, I can't even tell you how many people I know. And again, it's such good intentions.

So the thing I think these kids are missing is a space to struggle, to not know, to be left out sometimes, to not be able to read right away, to just be able to struggle and muddy your way through it, and to also not have your parents watching and orchestrating every moment to put you in a bubble. Like, I can't even tell you how many people I know. And again, it's such good intentions.

Call the school. My kid has to be with Jordan and Chris in class next year. They have to be with their best friends. And I'm like, I don't think people did that when we were kids. I don't even think they knew the number to call. There probably wasn't a number to call. And what I hear is, and again, there's nuance. There's always nuance. But Oh, my goodness. Like, I really believe this for my kids.

Call the school. My kid has to be with Jordan and Chris in class next year. They have to be with their best friends. And I'm like, I don't think people did that when we were kids. I don't even think they knew the number to call. There probably wasn't a number to call. And what I hear is, and again, there's nuance. There's always nuance. But Oh, my goodness. Like, I really believe this for my kids.

Call the school. My kid has to be with Jordan and Chris in class next year. They have to be with their best friends. And I'm like, I don't think people did that when we were kids. I don't even think they knew the number to call. There probably wasn't a number to call. And what I hear is, and again, there's nuance. There's always nuance. But Oh, my goodness. Like, I really believe this for my kids.

I would never want to deprive them of the opportunity to find out they're in a class with none of their friends. Because what they will have to figure out that year is going to be so helpful for them when they're older. And so I think this goes back to that do less, do nothing, and really think my job again isn't to keep my kid happy. It's actually...

I would never want to deprive them of the opportunity to find out they're in a class with none of their friends. Because what they will have to figure out that year is going to be so helpful for them when they're older. And so I think this goes back to that do less, do nothing, and really think my job again isn't to keep my kid happy. It's actually...

I would never want to deprive them of the opportunity to find out they're in a class with none of their friends. Because what they will have to figure out that year is going to be so helpful for them when they're older. And so I think this goes back to that do less, do nothing, and really think my job again isn't to keep my kid happy. It's actually...

to optimize for resilience, which means creating an environment that represents adulthood. We can support our kids, but supporting and solving are very different things.

to optimize for resilience, which means creating an environment that represents adulthood. We can support our kids, but supporting and solving are very different things.

to optimize for resilience, which means creating an environment that represents adulthood. We can support our kids, but supporting and solving are very different things.

Okay, Jordan, confidence. I think we think confidence is a kid feeling good about themselves. I don't think that's what it is. I think confidence is self-trust. And I think they're very different because if you're optimizing for your kid feeling good about themselves, you tend to actually build a lot of self mistrust around any emotional experience that is distressing. So here's an example.

Okay, Jordan, confidence. I think we think confidence is a kid feeling good about themselves. I don't think that's what it is. I think confidence is self-trust. And I think they're very different because if you're optimizing for your kid feeling good about themselves, you tend to actually build a lot of self mistrust around any emotional experience that is distressing. So here's an example.

Okay, Jordan, confidence. I think we think confidence is a kid feeling good about themselves. I don't think that's what it is. I think confidence is self-trust. And I think they're very different because if you're optimizing for your kid feeling good about themselves, you tend to actually build a lot of self mistrust around any emotional experience that is distressing. So here's an example.

The reading is a good example, but another example, maybe your kid saying, all these other kids on my travel baseball team have gotten like really good. I don't know if I'm going to make it this year. Okay. And then we say things to our kid. Maybe we're like, that's true. I kind of know my kid's not going to make it this year. Now, I don't recommend saying it's true.

The reading is a good example, but another example, maybe your kid saying, all these other kids on my travel baseball team have gotten like really good. I don't know if I'm going to make it this year. Okay. And then we say things to our kid. Maybe we're like, that's true. I kind of know my kid's not going to make it this year. Now, I don't recommend saying it's true.