Dr. Becky Kennedy

The reading is a good example, but another example, maybe your kid saying, all these other kids on my travel baseball team have gotten like really good. I don't know if I'm going to make it this year. Okay. And then we say things to our kid. Maybe we're like, that's true. I kind of know my kid's not going to make it this year. Now, I don't recommend saying it's true.

You're really not good at baseball. Obviously, that's not what I would say. But I think we say these things to our kids, maybe even after they don't make the team. That tryout was so unfair. This coach really has something against you. We think that's building confidence because we're trying to optimize for good.

You're really not good at baseball. Obviously, that's not what I would say. But I think we say these things to our kids, maybe even after they don't make the team. That tryout was so unfair. This coach really has something against you. We think that's building confidence because we're trying to optimize for good.

You're really not good at baseball. Obviously, that's not what I would say. But I think we say these things to our kids, maybe even after they don't make the team. That tryout was so unfair. This coach really has something against you. We think that's building confidence because we're trying to optimize for good.

If we're optimizing for self-trust after my kid doesn't make the team, I might even say, look, you even noticed it earlier. Some of these kids over the summer, they're hitting the ball a lot farther and they're pitching a lot faster. And when I hear my kids say, it's so unfair. The coach has it out for me.

If we're optimizing for self-trust after my kid doesn't make the team, I might even say, look, you even noticed it earlier. Some of these kids over the summer, they're hitting the ball a lot farther and they're pitching a lot faster. And when I hear my kids say, it's so unfair. The coach has it out for me.

If we're optimizing for self-trust after my kid doesn't make the team, I might even say, look, you even noticed it earlier. Some of these kids over the summer, they're hitting the ball a lot farther and they're pitching a lot faster. And when I hear my kids say, it's so unfair. The coach has it out for me.

What I'd probably say if I was on my game, I don't know if I would be because none of us are perfect, is you're really disappointed you didn't make the team. This is actually a huge thing. And I'm going to say it, especially with boys, is they tend to take their vulnerable feelings and turn it into kind of indignation and anger and orient out almost like someone must have done this feeling to me.

What I'd probably say if I was on my game, I don't know if I would be because none of us are perfect, is you're really disappointed you didn't make the team. This is actually a huge thing. And I'm going to say it, especially with boys, is they tend to take their vulnerable feelings and turn it into kind of indignation and anger and orient out almost like someone must have done this feeling to me.

What I'd probably say if I was on my game, I don't know if I would be because none of us are perfect, is you're really disappointed you didn't make the team. This is actually a huge thing. And I'm going to say it, especially with boys, is they tend to take their vulnerable feelings and turn it into kind of indignation and anger and orient out almost like someone must have done this feeling to me.

Who did this vulnerable feeling to me? And I actually think this can't happen overnight. Our job is to help our kids almost reclaim their feelings. It's not about fairness. My kid is disappointed. I am on this with my kids about referees. Nothing bothers me so much as at the end of a game, I hear these kids being like... Oh, we lost the game. That ref was awful.

Who did this vulnerable feeling to me? And I actually think this can't happen overnight. Our job is to help our kids almost reclaim their feelings. It's not about fairness. My kid is disappointed. I am on this with my kids about referees. Nothing bothers me so much as at the end of a game, I hear these kids being like... Oh, we lost the game. That ref was awful.

Who did this vulnerable feeling to me? And I actually think this can't happen overnight. Our job is to help our kids almost reclaim their feelings. It's not about fairness. My kid is disappointed. I am on this with my kids about referees. Nothing bothers me so much as at the end of a game, I hear these kids being like... Oh, we lost the game. That ref was awful.

To me, it's like such early entitlement, which really is just the inability to tolerate your own frustration. That's all entitlement is. This can't be my frustration. Who did this to me? It's the referee, right? And it's like, I can't have this feeling, so I vomit it onto someone else. To me, when I hear that,

To me, it's like such early entitlement, which really is just the inability to tolerate your own frustration. That's all entitlement is. This can't be my frustration. Who did this to me? It's the referee, right? And it's like, I can't have this feeling, so I vomit it onto someone else. To me, when I hear that,

To me, it's like such early entitlement, which really is just the inability to tolerate your own frustration. That's all entitlement is. This can't be my frustration. Who did this to me? It's the referee, right? And it's like, I can't have this feeling, so I vomit it onto someone else. To me, when I hear that,

And I think about confidence, which again, confidence isn't your ability to get a win every time. Confidence is your ability to have a bad loss and then say, what did I do? What could I do differently? What part is actually under my control? Which again, you think an NBA player, like their best strategy after losing game is blaming the ref. Again, it's pathetic.

And I think about confidence, which again, confidence isn't your ability to get a win every time. Confidence is your ability to have a bad loss and then say, what did I do? What could I do differently? What part is actually under my control? Which again, you think an NBA player, like their best strategy after losing game is blaming the ref. Again, it's pathetic.

And I think about confidence, which again, confidence isn't your ability to get a win every time. Confidence is your ability to have a bad loss and then say, what did I do? What could I do differently? What part is actually under my control? Which again, you think an NBA player, like their best strategy after losing game is blaming the ref. Again, it's pathetic.

We would never want that player in our team. We'd be like, refs, whatever. I miss my foul shots. I'm going to go to the gym tomorrow so I can make more. I didn't pass as much as I was hogging the ball. And to me, we have to help our kids in terms of confidence really see that confidence isn't about being the best.