Dr. Becky Kennedy

Not organized enough to do that. But if I thought about a couple that come to mind, like my job is to keep my kids safe. By the way, safe does not mean they're never in a situation without risk. That's not what I mean. You know, but in general... That's its own form of danger. Exactly. The minimization of risk is also not safe, right? So, but in general, my job is to keep you safe.

Not organized enough to do that. But if I thought about a couple that come to mind, like my job is to keep my kids safe. By the way, safe does not mean they're never in a situation without risk. That's not what I mean. You know, but in general... That's its own form of danger. Exactly. The minimization of risk is also not safe, right? So, but in general, my job is to keep you safe.

Not organized enough to do that. But if I thought about a couple that come to mind, like my job is to keep my kids safe. By the way, safe does not mean they're never in a situation without risk. That's not what I mean. You know, but in general... That's its own form of danger. Exactly. The minimization of risk is also not safe, right? So, but in general, my job is to keep you safe.

I'm not going to let you do things that, you know, endanger yourself or others. So that's one. Another principle I think about is... I will always tell you the truth, even if it's uncomfortable. Like you can always count on me for that. We call that kind of, I call that truth over comfort, right? So if my kid says to me, how are babies made? That value is useful, right?

I'm not going to let you do things that, you know, endanger yourself or others. So that's one. Another principle I think about is... I will always tell you the truth, even if it's uncomfortable. Like you can always count on me for that. We call that kind of, I call that truth over comfort, right? So if my kid says to me, how are babies made? That value is useful, right?

I'm not going to let you do things that, you know, endanger yourself or others. So that's one. Another principle I think about is... I will always tell you the truth, even if it's uncomfortable. Like you can always count on me for that. We call that kind of, I call that truth over comfort, right? So if my kid says to me, how are babies made? That value is useful, right?

Another thing is like all feelings are allowed. Not all behaviors are okay, right? Stuff like that.

Another thing is like all feelings are allowed. Not all behaviors are okay, right? Stuff like that.

Another thing is like all feelings are allowed. Not all behaviors are okay, right? Stuff like that.

To me, what's very different is these kind of rigidities around behavior. Mm-hmm. We don't swear. Swearing is a behavior. We don't cry in public. Behavior. We don't tantrum here. That's a behavior. Behaviors all the time are a manifestation of feelings that overpower skills. So saying we don't do certain behaviors, to me, it doesn't even make logical sense.

To me, what's very different is these kind of rigidities around behavior. Mm-hmm. We don't swear. Swearing is a behavior. We don't cry in public. Behavior. We don't tantrum here. That's a behavior. Behaviors all the time are a manifestation of feelings that overpower skills. So saying we don't do certain behaviors, to me, it doesn't even make logical sense.

To me, what's very different is these kind of rigidities around behavior. Mm-hmm. We don't swear. Swearing is a behavior. We don't cry in public. Behavior. We don't tantrum here. That's a behavior. Behaviors all the time are a manifestation of feelings that overpower skills. So saying we don't do certain behaviors, to me, it doesn't even make logical sense.

Well, what if I'm in a situation where I have a really intense emotion and don't have the skill to manage it? The behavior is going to happen, and then I feel like a bad person. That's very different than values around intention. I want to be truthful with my kids, even if things are uncomfortable. I might fumble around with the words, right?

Well, what if I'm in a situation where I have a really intense emotion and don't have the skill to manage it? The behavior is going to happen, and then I feel like a bad person. That's very different than values around intention. I want to be truthful with my kids, even if things are uncomfortable. I might fumble around with the words, right?

Well, what if I'm in a situation where I have a really intense emotion and don't have the skill to manage it? The behavior is going to happen, and then I feel like a bad person. That's very different than values around intention. I want to be truthful with my kids, even if things are uncomfortable. I might fumble around with the words, right?

I might even sometimes lie because I didn't do that value in action. But what I can come back to is, okay, nobody lives their values 100% of the time. So I think we're talking about actually something core to what we think about at Good Inside, which is I'm a good person with values who is totally imperfect and sometimes acts in ways I'm not proud of. Both are true.

I might even sometimes lie because I didn't do that value in action. But what I can come back to is, okay, nobody lives their values 100% of the time. So I think we're talking about actually something core to what we think about at Good Inside, which is I'm a good person with values who is totally imperfect and sometimes acts in ways I'm not proud of. Both are true.

I might even sometimes lie because I didn't do that value in action. But what I can come back to is, okay, nobody lives their values 100% of the time. So I think we're talking about actually something core to what we think about at Good Inside, which is I'm a good person with values who is totally imperfect and sometimes acts in ways I'm not proud of. Both are true.

When families have values that are very behavior-based, what ends up happening in the kids is they start to equate certain behaviors with morality. These are good behaviors that make me loved in my family, and these are bad behaviors that kind of make me feel like I'm not the right part of my family, and they even make me wonder, like, Am I lovable? Am I good inside after all? Am I worthy?

When families have values that are very behavior-based, what ends up happening in the kids is they start to equate certain behaviors with morality. These are good behaviors that make me loved in my family, and these are bad behaviors that kind of make me feel like I'm not the right part of my family, and they even make me wonder, like, Am I lovable? Am I good inside after all? Am I worthy?