Dr. Becky Kennedy
speaker
3,434 appearances
7 recordings
6 series
first heard Feb 2024
last heard 18 Jun
Dr. Becky Kennedy’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 3 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 2.
Appearances
I mean, to me, this is something like I always just say, I always phrase it as emotion talk, right? Just emotion. Knowing that emotions live within you, knowing that there's names for them, that they're normal, that they make sense. To me, it's like the ultimate leg up in life. It's like it gives your kids such resilience because we can't beat our emotions.
I feel like we've been trying that for generations. Like if I just only didn't feel so angry or so jealous or so sad. Our emotions are so primal in our body. And I really do believe emotions, they're information. That's what they are. Why would we ever want to not get the information our body is giving us? And sometimes it's almost dramatic what happens in an amazing way.
So many people, I think about so many times I have people in a room for therapy, they start crying. I'm so sorry. you're feeling something so intensely that your body is producing water from your eyes to get your attention. Like that's, that must be really important information. Why are we saying sorry?
Yeah.
So that's a great example. Like I even think about a conversation I have had with my kids and I like to just have these moments here and there. Whenever I talk about good conversations with my kids, I think people think I have these 45 minute. No, they're usually 10 seconds. I say one thing, my kids say, can I have a snack now?
And I think that's a great conversation because I know it gets in there. Do you know that tears have really important information for us? I'm going to be like, what? What did you say? I'm just thinking. So many people think tears are bad. Tears are kind of amazing. It's like our body is trying to stop us and it's like asking us to pay attention to something really powerful.
I just think it's kind of an amazing thing. Our body does. And my kid goes, can I have pretzels? Oh, sure. I'll get you pretzels. That to me is a win. I just want to tell everyone.
I love it.
That is a 10 out of 10. I'm bragging to people about that. I'm like, I had the best conversation because I know this is seeping in. Because in the moment, my kid is crying. You think it's going to be helpful when my seven-year-old is crying, tears are amazing. Or like, F you, mom. No one wants to hear that.
But you know when that's a great conversation? Around the dinner table. And again, your kids will roll their eyes. Kids roll their eyes about everything. I always think rolling their eyes or stop is kind of a kid's way of saying, there's a lot coming at me. I'm my own person. I just need to push it away a little. So that on my own time and under my own control, I can take it in.
And we take eye rolls or whatever it is so personally that then we end up getting into a power struggle. Why are you rolling my eyes? And we miss this opportunity. If we just say nothing, then our kid is going to take in what we just said. Just walk away. Let the whole process happen.
You know, it's kind of like if your boss comes in and says something like, oh, look, that project really wasn't as good as it, you know, could have been. And I really need these things done. And then imagine, you're rolling your eyes at me. If your boss just leaves the room, you probably think, I didn't do that as well as I could. I'm going to go work on it, right?
So I feel like not taking the bait is a very important parenting tool. But I think those moments with our kids to talk about emotions and to talk about our own, especially when it comes to struggle, right? Yeah. One of the things I think a lot about, I try to be intentional with my kids, especially when they're younger. I just think kids are flooded by their parents' capability.
And it is so hard to learn in environments where someone's capability is so far beyond your own. I'm not a good cook, but if I was really learning to cook, I would want to learn from someone from here or there, you know, burnt some garlic or messed up the broccoli. And then it was like, okay, well, I guess I could do this next time. Okay.
But if I'm learning to cook from someone who is whatever celebrity chef, that person's like way too far from me. And I almost feel shame. So I think about this with our kids and how this relates to emotions, where when your kids are younger, especially if you just think about the first 10 minutes of their day,
Like they're trying to figure out maybe how to brush their teeth, how to go to the bathroom, how to turn on the sink, how to wash their hands. They always put their shirt on the wrong way. They can't get on their socks. There's so many things. And you come out dressed perfectly. And then I can't get on my socks. And you go like this. Okay, one, two.
And kind of in those moments, I always think that I'm just kind of saying to my kid, I can do everything easily. And they don't know our history. They don't know. We struggled to put on socks for five years too. I put on my shirt backward, you know, until college. They don't know that.
And so I think, again, in these calm moments, you have this opportunity to say something like, I cannot finish this crossword puzzle. Or like, I love New York Times games, right? And it's so fun with my kids now that they're older. But my connections was really hard today. I just, I really struggled with it. And I was like, oh, I can't do it. I can't do it. And then I took a deep breath and I...
tried it a little more, and maybe I said, and I did it, or I didn't do it, whatever it is. And it gives my kid, first of all, it gives my kid an opportunity to just notice that I struggle too. It gives my kid, again, kind of an arc and a story of, oh, someone I admire so much. Every kid admires their parents. They've had hard times. They still have hard times. They work through things.
They burn garlic. They can kind of talk themselves through it. That is such a more powerful kind of lesson in emotion regulation than teaching your kid kind of directly.
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