Dr. Becky Kennedy

You know, and if I'm talking to someone, I'd say, okay, well, I'm guessing you're not leaving your kid alone. Now, again, my husband or my mom, someone who's a totally safe adult, Becky, I told my kid and she was clinging to me like, no, mommy, I needed to be you. I need to be you. And so I'm not going to dinner. Do you know what I'm going to say, Andrew? Because I feel so guilty. This is right.

You know, and if I'm talking to someone, I'd say, okay, well, I'm guessing you're not leaving your kid alone. Now, again, my husband or my mom, someone who's a totally safe adult, Becky, I told my kid and she was clinging to me like, no, mommy, I needed to be you. I need to be you. And so I'm not going to dinner. Do you know what I'm going to say, Andrew? Because I feel so guilty. This is right.

You know, and if I'm talking to someone, I'd say, okay, well, I'm guessing you're not leaving your kid alone. Now, again, my husband or my mom, someone who's a totally safe adult, Becky, I told my kid and she was clinging to me like, no, mommy, I needed to be you. I need to be you. And so I'm not going to dinner. Do you know what I'm going to say, Andrew? Because I feel so guilty. This is right.

Oh, someone asked me to be in the PTA meeting. I'm so busy. I can't, but I can't do it because I feel so guilty. Okay. Again, I'm just curious. I say, well, it sounds like you really want to go to dinner with your friends. She's like, oh, I do. All I do is parent these days. I literally haven't seen these friends in years. They're in town. And I said, tell me about your friendships. Yes.

Oh, someone asked me to be in the PTA meeting. I'm so busy. I can't, but I can't do it because I feel so guilty. Okay. Again, I'm just curious. I say, well, it sounds like you really want to go to dinner with your friends. She's like, oh, I do. All I do is parent these days. I literally haven't seen these friends in years. They're in town. And I said, tell me about your friendships. Yes.

Oh, someone asked me to be in the PTA meeting. I'm so busy. I can't, but I can't do it because I feel so guilty. Okay. Again, I'm just curious. I say, well, it sounds like you really want to go to dinner with your friends. She's like, oh, I do. All I do is parent these days. I literally haven't seen these friends in years. They're in town. And I said, tell me about your friendships. Yes.

I know that I'm kind of more than just someone who puts down my kid for bed. And I love doing that. But this matters, too. So I said, this is really interesting. You really value your friendships. your life right now feels out of balance and that your friendships, that part of your burner of your stove is like really low. Okay. And you're not going because you feel guilty.

I know that I'm kind of more than just someone who puts down my kid for bed. And I love doing that. But this matters, too. So I said, this is really interesting. You really value your friendships. your life right now feels out of balance and that your friendships, that part of your burner of your stove is like really low. Okay. And you're not going because you feel guilty.

I know that I'm kind of more than just someone who puts down my kid for bed. And I love doing that. But this matters, too. So I said, this is really interesting. You really value your friendships. your life right now feels out of balance and that your friendships, that part of your burner of your stove is like really low. Okay. And you're not going because you feel guilty.

I just want to share an idea. Guilt is a feeling you have when you act out of alignment with your values. It seems like going to dinner would be in line with your values and almost, it's like, yeah, it's true. So what is this feeling? And here's what I think the feeling is. I call it not guilt just because I haven't figured out a more sophisticated term. But here's what I think is happening.

I just want to share an idea. Guilt is a feeling you have when you act out of alignment with your values. It seems like going to dinner would be in line with your values and almost, it's like, yeah, it's true. So what is this feeling? And here's what I think the feeling is. I call it not guilt just because I haven't figured out a more sophisticated term. But here's what I think is happening.

I just want to share an idea. Guilt is a feeling you have when you act out of alignment with your values. It seems like going to dinner would be in line with your values and almost, it's like, yeah, it's true. So what is this feeling? And here's what I think the feeling is. I call it not guilt just because I haven't figured out a more sophisticated term. But here's what I think is happening.

A lot of us, especially women, when we were growing up, we learned to notice everyone's feelings around us. And we learned that our value, really, and our worth, really, and we were kind of best and good girls when we took care of everyone else's feelings except for our own.

A lot of us, especially women, when we were growing up, we learned to notice everyone's feelings around us. And we learned that our value, really, and our worth, really, and we were kind of best and good girls when we took care of everyone else's feelings except for our own.

A lot of us, especially women, when we were growing up, we learned to notice everyone's feelings around us. And we learned that our value, really, and our worth, really, and we were kind of best and good girls when we took care of everyone else's feelings except for our own.

I think so many young girls especially become expert at what people need of them by becoming distant from what they need for themselves.

I think so many young girls especially become expert at what people need of them by becoming distant from what they need for themselves.

I think so many young girls especially become expert at what people need of them by becoming distant from what they need for themselves.

Yeah, and kids are oriented by attachment. They have to learn with their families, how do I become the most lovable, safest version of myself? So I have a friend who, it's true, I remember her, even in middle school, I can't come. My dad's traveling and my mom really needs me to stay home and watch a movie with her, right? And I know this mom well. It's like, oh, you don't love me.

Yeah, and kids are oriented by attachment. They have to learn with their families, how do I become the most lovable, safest version of myself? So I have a friend who, it's true, I remember her, even in middle school, I can't come. My dad's traveling and my mom really needs me to stay home and watch a movie with her, right? And I know this mom well. It's like, oh, you don't love me.