Dr. Becky Kennedy

Because then we have a kid who's 10 and I say to them in a moment of frustration, you have to remember your water bottle by yourself. This is insane that I'm still doing it for you. But I have to a little bit look in the mirror and say, okay, so first of all, am I setting my kid up for success? This is a skill. Do I help my kid with their own handwriting? Write post-it notes on the door.

Because then we have a kid who's 10 and I say to them in a moment of frustration, you have to remember your water bottle by yourself. This is insane that I'm still doing it for you. But I have to a little bit look in the mirror and say, okay, so first of all, am I setting my kid up for success? This is a skill. Do I help my kid with their own handwriting? Write post-it notes on the door.

Remember water bottle. We all need visual prompts. When my kid does it but still forgets, again, this is a water bottle. It's not an EpiPen. Am I like, you know what? This feels harder than I thought, but I'm not doing it. I'm not purposely letting them fail. No, again, intention matters, but this is an okay thing to go through.

Remember water bottle. We all need visual prompts. When my kid does it but still forgets, again, this is a water bottle. It's not an EpiPen. Am I like, you know what? This feels harder than I thought, but I'm not doing it. I'm not purposely letting them fail. No, again, intention matters, but this is an okay thing to go through.

Remember water bottle. We all need visual prompts. When my kid does it but still forgets, again, this is a water bottle. It's not an EpiPen. Am I like, you know what? This feels harder than I thought, but I'm not doing it. I'm not purposely letting them fail. No, again, intention matters, but this is an okay thing to go through.

It probably will be part of the arc of, oh, man, I was thirsty at soccer practice all Oh, yeah, that stings. Oh, you forgot. Okay. I want to work myself out of that job. And so I think your mom worked herself out of that job. And what happened is there was enough of a vacuum that you worked yourself into that job, which made you more confident and capable.

It probably will be part of the arc of, oh, man, I was thirsty at soccer practice all Oh, yeah, that stings. Oh, you forgot. Okay. I want to work myself out of that job. And so I think your mom worked herself out of that job. And what happened is there was enough of a vacuum that you worked yourself into that job, which made you more confident and capable.

It probably will be part of the arc of, oh, man, I was thirsty at soccer practice all Oh, yeah, that stings. Oh, you forgot. Okay. I want to work myself out of that job. And so I think your mom worked herself out of that job. And what happened is there was enough of a vacuum that you worked yourself into that job, which made you more confident and capable.

I guess I don't think kids inherently are born with one or the other, but a lot of this comes from the messages, the responses. Kids are just expert in noticing this I believe you and I believe in you. Do my parents think I can become capable over time about something that I initially find difficult? Or do they rescue me from it?

I guess I don't think kids inherently are born with one or the other, but a lot of this comes from the messages, the responses. Kids are just expert in noticing this I believe you and I believe in you. Do my parents think I can become capable over time about something that I initially find difficult? Or do they rescue me from it?

I guess I don't think kids inherently are born with one or the other, but a lot of this comes from the messages, the responses. Kids are just expert in noticing this I believe you and I believe in you. Do my parents think I can become capable over time about something that I initially find difficult? Or do they rescue me from it?

Which is really a way of saying they don't think I'm capable of doing it. And so what I noticed with kids over time who have higher self-esteem, number one, they've learned to figure things out for themselves. But that process is messy. What it really means is in the home, parents were tolerating tantrums. They were tolerating whining. They were saying some version.

Which is really a way of saying they don't think I'm capable of doing it. And so what I noticed with kids over time who have higher self-esteem, number one, they've learned to figure things out for themselves. But that process is messy. What it really means is in the home, parents were tolerating tantrums. They were tolerating whining. They were saying some version.

Which is really a way of saying they don't think I'm capable of doing it. And so what I noticed with kids over time who have higher self-esteem, number one, they've learned to figure things out for themselves. But that process is messy. What it really means is in the home, parents were tolerating tantrums. They were tolerating whining. They were saying some version.

I remember my son whining about this puzzle he was doing. Probably three or four years doing a puzzle he couldn't figure out, please. He's just doing it for me. I can't figure it out. And as a parent, of course, there's a moment. Permission to anyone listening to be like, you know what? I'm just doing the puzzle. I can't deal tonight. Fine.

I remember my son whining about this puzzle he was doing. Probably three or four years doing a puzzle he couldn't figure out, please. He's just doing it for me. I can't figure it out. And as a parent, of course, there's a moment. Permission to anyone listening to be like, you know what? I'm just doing the puzzle. I can't deal tonight. Fine.

I remember my son whining about this puzzle he was doing. Probably three or four years doing a puzzle he couldn't figure out, please. He's just doing it for me. I can't figure it out. And as a parent, of course, there's a moment. Permission to anyone listening to be like, you know what? I'm just doing the puzzle. I can't deal tonight. Fine.

But I remember this thing I said to him vividly because I was like, wow, that just felt really right. I said, look, I'm not finishing the puzzle for you. But let me tell you why. The best feeling I think in the world is the feeling you get when you think you can't do something and then you take a breath, but then you watch yourself make progress. That is literally the best feeling in the world.

But I remember this thing I said to him vividly because I was like, wow, that just felt really right. I said, look, I'm not finishing the puzzle for you. But let me tell you why. The best feeling I think in the world is the feeling you get when you think you can't do something and then you take a breath, but then you watch yourself make progress. That is literally the best feeling in the world.

But I remember this thing I said to him vividly because I was like, wow, that just felt really right. I said, look, I'm not finishing the puzzle for you. But let me tell you why. The best feeling I think in the world is the feeling you get when you think you can't do something and then you take a breath, but then you watch yourself make progress. That is literally the best feeling in the world.