Dr. Brian Pennie

I can nearly sit with the anxiety.

I'm okay with sitting with the pain now.

And it's not like the anxiety has lessened because of my relationship with it.

But if I get anxious over something very normal, whether it's financial, whether it's a relationship challenge, I'm comfortable within that pain.

But I think that's one reason that I've nothing to run away from, I've nothing to avoid.

But I think another reason why I say I'm recovered, if somebody told me you have a free pass to crack cocaine, heroin and alcohol, let's call it cocaine Thursday or heroin Friday or something like that, you can do it, you won't have any physical ramifications, like this is a thought experiment, it's not actually possible, but you can do it, nobody will know, there'll be no ramifications, you won't even remember.

I wouldn't even take that offer up because my value system today and what's important in my life is my health, my relationships, inner peace, my energy.

That's what I want in my life.

So if I was to do a bag of heroin, that's so misaligned with my core values of who I truly am.

So that's why I feel I'm nearly, it's aversive, taking drugs is aversive to me.

So that's why I feel I'm recovered.

But at the same time, I do realise like, let's say another thought experiment, let's say there's World War III or something like that.

I lose family members, I lose an arm or mad things happen.

I'm feeling anxious, I'm feeling terrified.

The world's a horrible place and somebody puts a bag of heroin in front of me.

Well, that might become a little bit valuable all of a sudden in that context.

So bulletproof is a bit strong, but where I am in this situation in life, I feel as recovered as anyone could be.

Yeah.

My new addiction.

Yeah.