Dr. Ciara Kelly

Because it sounds silly.

But it's not silly, really.

I think you mentioned intersection.

I think these things often do intersect because I think some people, for example, I'm thinking of that instance I was talking about again.

If something's going on for one person in a friendship, some people don't behave in a lovely way.

They get a bit dysfunctional.

We all do.

And sometimes they push people in their life away, which then you're the rejected person, but it actually isn't about you, it's about them.

But the other thing that people do as well...

In life.

And I don't know what you were going through at the time it happened for you or what the other person was going through is people have a thing for sure, misdirected anger.

Something's going on in their life and I'm angry with you, you've fucked me over royally.

But for some reason I can't fix this or I can't deal with this or maybe I'm grief ridden or something.

I've got something going on big.

And I can't I can't change or fix this.

So now I have all this latent anger and you are now in my crosshairs, even though you haven't changed or done anything different.

I think what's important for someone who's going through this to think is, first of all, this is really common.

This isn't just you.

You aren't the only person who had a friend that you loved and felt invested in and wanted to stay friends with who pushed you away and you didn't really know why.

That happens.