Dr. Daniel Amen

And what does it do? Stops the conversation or it starts a fight. Sounds like you want to be like the other kids. completely different conversation. But that's, and he might say, dad, you know, sometimes I feel like I don't fit in. Now my mother would have said, what do you mean you don't fit in? Of course you fit in. You're a good boy. You're a good looking boy. You're a nice boy.

And that's not helpful either. What's just helpful is so sometimes you feel like you don't fit in. And then give it a breath. So they're the ones solving their problem. Now, at the end of a half an hour, he says, I still want to have blue hair. I'm going to tell him no way in hell as long as you live in my house, because it's not cool to look weird.

And that's not helpful either. What's just helpful is so sometimes you feel like you don't fit in. And then give it a breath. So they're the ones solving their problem. Now, at the end of a half an hour, he says, I still want to have blue hair. I'm going to tell him no way in hell as long as you live in my house, because it's not cool to look weird.

I mean, if you look weird, you're going to hang out with weird people, right? It's okay to have boundaries, right?

I mean, if you look weird, you're going to hang out with weird people, right? It's okay to have boundaries, right?

we're not i think it should be both what does it look like well you know we haven't gotten to rules i i think families should have them society has rules like tell the truth do what mom and dad say the first time i love that role because do you know your chance of abusing the child if you tell a child to do something five times your chance of abusing that child just went up significantly.

we're not i think it should be both what does it look like well you know we haven't gotten to rules i i think families should have them society has rules like tell the truth do what mom and dad say the first time i love that role because do you know your chance of abusing the child if you tell a child to do something five times your chance of abusing that child just went up significantly.

And so if you have the expectation they'll do things the first time, it's like, Caitlin, I want you to take out the trash, like in the next half hour. And if she doesn't, it's like, sweetheart, you have a choice. You can take it out now. Or you can have this consequence and then you can take it out. I don't care, it's up to you. And I love that part of not being attached to it.

And so if you have the expectation they'll do things the first time, it's like, Caitlin, I want you to take out the trash, like in the next half hour. And if she doesn't, it's like, sweetheart, you have a choice. You can take it out now. Or you can have this consequence and then you can take it out. I don't care, it's up to you. And I love that part of not being attached to it.

I love her, I'm really clear, and she's getting that consequence if she doesn't move. Stop threatening them and then not following through. Because you teach them that you have to tell them and get angry and be a bit crazy in order for them to do what you ask them to do.

I love her, I'm really clear, and she's getting that consequence if she doesn't move. Stop threatening them and then not following through. Because you teach them that you have to tell them and get angry and be a bit crazy in order for them to do what you ask them to do.

And you're part of the family rather than you're entitled. to live in that family yeah yeah and the earlier you start the the better it is um for kids i mean it's it's hard if you not spend any time with children by the time they're 14 their friends are more important than you are and that's the heartbreaking thing i've learned is

And you're part of the family rather than you're entitled. to live in that family yeah yeah and the earlier you start the the better it is um for kids i mean it's it's hard if you not spend any time with children by the time they're 14 their friends are more important than you are and that's the heartbreaking thing i've learned is

If you're not spending time with them, their friends will take your place. And they may not have the advice. They may not have the right ear for you. And it makes them more vulnerable to all the scary stuff that's on social media.

If you're not spending time with them, their friends will take your place. And they may not have the advice. They may not have the right ear for you. And it makes them more vulnerable to all the scary stuff that's on social media.

Hi, Megan. What a joy. I've followed your work for a long time. I'm a huge fan.

Hi, Megan. What a joy. I've followed your work for a long time. I'm a huge fan.

Hi, Megan. What a joy. I've followed your work for a long time. I'm a huge fan.