Dr. Darby Saxbe

speaker

745 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard Jul 2026 last heard 27 Jul

Dr. Darby Saxbe’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jul 2026 with 1.

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Modern Wisdom · The Painful Psychological Cost Of Becoming A Dad - Darby Saxbe - #1129 · 27 Jul 2026 podcast

I think the idea that this is a fixed pie or that it's a zero sum game, like there's a finite amount of resources that are going to go to a parent's mental health and they need to be directed solely to moms.

I think, is really limited.

We need to be thinking about how do moms work together with dads to make sure that the baby is getting well cared for and that everybody's mental health needs are getting met.

Yeah, why are we gaslighting dads?

And why are we pitting dads against moms?

And my response to that is, if we want to have a society where men are stepping up as parents and they're fully participating in caretaking...

They're waking up with the baby.

They're doing the hard parts of care.

We need to recognize that that's going to have mental health consequences.

It's going to be taxing.

It's going to be isolating.

It's going to be draining.

And if we really want men to participate, we have to respect that their mental health matters too.

We can't guard it as though it's the sole domain of new moms because we want dads to act more like primary caregivers, but we're not willing to accept that they're going to have vulnerability tied to that.

It's a little higher in new moms than it is in new dads.

I think it ranges across studies, but like 19% to 21%.

It's about double.

It's about 10%.

And I think important context is that women have about twice the rate of anxiety and depression in the general population.

So it tracks with that overall base rate.

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