Dr. Darby Saxbe

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745 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard Jul 2026 last heard 27 Jul

Dr. Darby Saxbe’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jul 2026 with 1.

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Modern Wisdom · The Painful Psychological Cost Of Becoming A Dad - Darby Saxbe - #1129 · 27 Jul 2026 podcast

Give yourself grace.

Don't expect that it will be easy.

Forewarned is forearmed.

So, you know, know that this is going to rock your world and it's going to be transformative, but it's supposed to be transformative.

And I would say steer away from the myth that dads don't have any innate wiring to know how to take care of a baby.

I think we have this idea that moms are just born knowing what to do when a baby arrives and men are going to be helpless and useless.

I don't think so, because I will say when I had my kids, I was like, what am I supposed to do with these people?

You know, you have to learn and you figure it out.

And it's about your motivation and your willingness to practice more than it's about just, you know, having some inborn reflex that's telling you how to care for a child.

And dads have that capacity to care and to build those empathetic, responsive, caregiving brains.

So there is some research on this and it corroborates both of your hunches.

So you can keep the pro science hat off.

Yeah, you don't need it.

Good instincts.

But there's research that depressive symptoms are correlated within moms and dads.

So if mom is more depressed, dad's more likely to be depressed.

If dad's depressed, mom's more likely to be depressed.

And if one partner is well and can support the other partner, that's also a huge resilience factor.

That's a buffer.

So they track together.

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