Dr. David Burns

People that I know struggle considerably, and even people who are very successful almost always have many blind spots and many weaknesses as well. I'm just babbling, so I'll shut up, but that was my contribution to that question. Loved it.

People that I know struggle considerably, and even people who are very successful almost always have many blind spots and many weaknesses as well. I'm just babbling, so I'll shut up, but that was my contribution to that question. Loved it.

Okay. And that's paradoxical agenda setting, which is one of the key components of team therapy. And that's the thing that has really opened up the doors for rapid recovery, rapid change for nearly all of the people that I work with. And the early days when all we had was, you know, 100 or more methods, it was great to have all those methods.

Okay. And that's paradoxical agenda setting, which is one of the key components of team therapy. And that's the thing that has really opened up the doors for rapid recovery, rapid change for nearly all of the people that I work with. And the early days when all we had was, you know, 100 or more methods, it was great to have all those methods.

But finding this resistance and motivational piece has transformed therapy from months and months of slow progress at all to almost overnight transformations for a great many people. we don't have the answers for everybody, but certainly my capacity to work with people rapidly and effectively has just gone up incredibly. And I think you've been experiencing that also for a decade or two now, Matt.

But finding this resistance and motivational piece has transformed therapy from months and months of slow progress at all to almost overnight transformations for a great many people. we don't have the answers for everybody, but certainly my capacity to work with people rapidly and effectively has just gone up incredibly. And I think you've been experiencing that also for a decade or two now, Matt.

Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, that's right.

And would that apply to any of the people who are listening to the podcast today and are struggling to change and have been failing in their efforts with or without a therapist to change? Probably 90% of them, yeah.

And would that apply to any of the people who are listening to the podcast today and are struggling to change and have been failing in their efforts with or without a therapist to change? Probably 90% of them, yeah.

Is that something that you would do? Yeah, brilliant thought because it is an addiction. And next time I – I run into a shooter, people who are shooting on themselves. I'm going to try that exact technique as well as, of course, all of our regular positive reframing and, you know, types of thing. And then the gentle ultimatum, the sitting with open hands. But that could be another nice tool.

Is that something that you would do? Yeah, brilliant thought because it is an addiction. And next time I – I run into a shooter, people who are shooting on themselves. I'm going to try that exact technique as well as, of course, all of our regular positive reframing and, you know, types of thing. And then the gentle ultimatum, the sitting with open hands. But that could be another nice tool.

And we were demonstrating that earlier today. with a recording for the app that we might post on YouTube. And I demonstrated the triple paradox and the devil's advocate technique with a colleague who was struggling with overeating. And we had a lot of fun with it. You know, we haven't seen it or anything because we just recorded it before we did this podcast today.

And we were demonstrating that earlier today. with a recording for the app that we might post on YouTube. And I demonstrated the triple paradox and the devil's advocate technique with a colleague who was struggling with overeating. And we had a lot of fun with it. You know, we haven't seen it or anything because we just recorded it before we did this podcast today.

But I think it can apply, those tools can apply to any situation that has an addictive component. And definitely should statements, there's shoulds against yourself. We get addicted to that and that causes guilt, shame, and depression. Should statements against other people, that's the cause of war, violence, hatred. marital conflict, relationship conflict, violence,

But I think it can apply, those tools can apply to any situation that has an addictive component. And definitely should statements, there's shoulds against yourself. We get addicted to that and that causes guilt, shame, and depression. Should statements against other people, that's the cause of war, violence, hatred. marital conflict, relationship conflict, violence,

And then there's should statements against the world and that, you know, the world shouldn't be so screwed up. The world should be better. And those should statements cause frustration, resentment, and a lot of happiness as well. And in all three cases, there's powerful motivational factors keeping those shoulds alive because people are afraid if I give up this should addiction,

And then there's should statements against the world and that, you know, the world shouldn't be so screwed up. The world should be better. And those should statements cause frustration, resentment, and a lot of happiness as well. And in all three cases, there's powerful motivational factors keeping those shoulds alive because people are afraid if I give up this should addiction,

I'll be caving in, bad things will happen, I'll be giving up on my goals for my life, I'll be giving up on my idealism and my chance to score big and make some wonderful achievement. But as it turns out, the reality is just the opposite. The shoulds, in my experience, just... hold me back and create all kind of angst and negative feelings that never lead to creativity or breakthroughs.

I'll be caving in, bad things will happen, I'll be giving up on my goals for my life, I'll be giving up on my idealism and my chance to score big and make some wonderful achievement. But as it turns out, the reality is just the opposite. The shoulds, in my experience, just... hold me back and create all kind of angst and negative feelings that never lead to creativity or breakthroughs.