Dr. David Rosmarin

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139 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard May 2025 last heard May 2025

Dr. David Rosmarin’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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The Mel Robbins Podcast · The Secret to Stopping Anxiety & Fear (That Actually Works) · 26 May 2025 podcast
That's the constellation.
Sure. Why do babies, right when they're born, let out this massive scream?
Yeah, and it's kind of new and scary. And like they've been in this comfortable little bubble for however many months. And they're in this, all of a sudden, this different environment. And there's lights and there's people and there's breathing, like you mentioned. And there's a digestion change and heart changes and all sorts of stuff all at once. And a healthy child will go, ah, and freak out.
And if they don't freak out, what do we say? Uh-oh. Exactly. You call in a neurologist. Those kids usually don't survive.
You're a healthy person. On a stressful day at work, if you're not having a little bit of, your hands aren't a little bit clammy and you're not feeling a little bit jazzed up, you don't recognize that there's a task for you to do. There's something important. You may be disconnected from the meaning of your work. You might be disconnected from the relationship you have with your peers.
That doesn't sound like a good work colleague. Having a little bit of apprehension and anxiety and nervousness walking into those situations shows that you care.
I love your specific example of parents and children. Little Jimmy or Jenny comes home. They feel a little bit anxious. And the parent themselves is a little anxious themselves. And they're freaked out about the fact that their kid is feeling anxious. So what do they do? Try to put out the fire. They try to calm them down. They try to say everything's going to be okay. They give them reassurance.
Say, you don't have to go to school. Don't worry. You don't have to go to that event. We accommodate them. As opposed to... Oh, you're feeling anxious. That sounds interesting. Tell me more. With no judgment, just explore it and actually create a more deep connection between parent and child. Ask questions. What is little Jimmy or Jenny afraid of and why? Is it embarrassment?
Are they afraid of messing up and being overly responsible? Are they afraid of the physical sensations? Do they feel like a failure? Are they afraid of losing friends? ask them lots of questions. And without trying to change it, don't try to change how they're thinking, how they're feeling, their behavior in any way. Just be there with them while they feel anxious.
They just want you to connect with them. Turn into a point of connection as opposed to a moment of education. We are missing this fundamental perspective on anxiety and it's having disastrous consequences for those micro moments. We judge others, we judge ourselves for feeling anxious and we go down the tubes in a hot second because of it.
Definitely don't do that. You're just actually making it worse because why? Because you're conveying a message. I wouldn't even say it's subliminal or subconscious. It's direct. You are directly showing your child something is wrong here, and they become afraid of their anxiety as a result.
misinterpreting it as a problem or a weakness or a disease or that something is wrong with you, as opposed to this is a normal human emotion. And then once we accept that, What do I do with it?
Sure. The four steps are as follows. Identify, share, embrace, and let go. I'll explain each one. Identify means getting to the root. What are you truly afraid of? Instead of putting it out of your mind, instead of squelching the symptoms, go there. Think about it. Get to what's actually bothering you. Two, share. Talk about it with someone else. Open up about it.
Make it a point of connection as opposed to sitting in a state of loneliness. Three, embrace your favorite. Do that which makes you feel anxious when you're ready and at a rate that you're comfortable with. But that is the path for emotional resilience. And finally, let go. There are certain things we can't control. Anxiety is always surrounded around control.
And at a certain point, we need to let go. To the extent that you can do that, you've completed the four steps.
Yep. So if he were here, I would want to know what's the focus of his apprehension. That's a very fancy way of saying what's at the root of his anxiety. Can we identify what is he really afraid of? When you vomit, it's unpleasant. Is it taste? Is it embarrassing yourself? Is it some sort of just the gag reflex and you just don't like how it feels? But if so, I'd want to know what about it
Did he watch a video once and there's an association with that video? I would have a whole bunch of questions here to ask with no judgment, simply to explore what about that situation is so upsetting for him.
Hold on, that it's going to happen and you're not there is important. What about vomiting without mom is upsetting? I'd want to know that. Based on what they say, I'm going to probe a little bit further and get like, what about that specifically is going to be upsetting to you?
I'll tell you what I often think it is about throwing up. There's an association because like the kid threw up at some point and one of the parents cleaned it up and it was not pleasant. Mm. For anyone. Oh, so we shamed them. Well, there's a bit of a fear of that. I'm not saying that you did. By the way, the therapist in me really wants to probe for your over-responsibility for your kid's anxiety.
I'm dying to do that, but I don't want to turn this into a therapy session, so we'll stay on topic. With regards to whatever it is, though, you want to probe and really get down to the root of it. And I think this is something we can do ourselves.
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