Dr. David Rosmarin

speaker
139 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard May 2025 last heard May 2025

Dr. David Rosmarin’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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The Mel Robbins Podcast · The Secret to Stopping Anxiety & Fear (That Actually Works) · 26 May 2025 podcast
Right? Yes. I'm going to feel ashamed if I throw up. It's embarrassing. Someone else is going to have to clean it up. And if it's someone else's house and I'm doing a sleepover, it's like someone else's mom and dad, like, ugh, that's a valid fear.
That's exactly correct.
So let's go to the second step. Well, the second step is sharing. Okay. Sharing your emotions, the core of it, with someone else... can create connection with someone. Now, you have to share with purpose, right? And there's not everyone in all circumstances can you share with them.
If you're sharing with a stressed out loved one who's coming back after a really nasty business trip or really they're going through a hard time themselves, they might not be able to hear it right now. But sharing it in a certain context and being clear, I need you to validate me. I just need you to hear me out. I'm feeling anxious. I want you to be here and present with me and then sharing it
can create more intimacy and connection between parents and children, certainly between loved ones, between friends. I've even seen it happen with strangers where people open up to each other like, hey, I feel that way too. Like instant connection.
What's the third step after you tell somebody? Once we share and we're connected to people, embrace the anxiety.
Face it. Do something that makes you anxious.
I know, but you also don't want to go to the gym to build your physical muscles, but you do that. That's true. Why doesn't every school in the United States of America have a mental, emotional agility resilience building by doing something that makes you feel a little bit uncomfortable? As long as it's safe and it's something that you want to do, do it.
Sure. There's this brilliant approach called the five second rule.
That's what it is. I'm getting out of bed even though I feel like hell right now. I'm going to do this. I don't want to, you know, I've had people with a fear of snakes.
I literally have a guy on speed dial who I can, should I bring him in?
That's fine. You're not ready for it.
Exposure therapy. Yeah. Chapter three.
It's a very, very good tool. And when you have clinical anxiety, it has to be part of the picture. If you're not going to face your anxiety eventually, it's going to be hard to get over it. But I think it's one step. I think we do have to identify it. We do have to share it. We do have to embrace it. I think there's something beyond it, but let's focus on exposure therapy for now.
You're going to fly at some point when you're ready. We're going to take, by the way, are you more nervous about short hauls or long hauls? Me? No, just let's make it up. Oh, got it. Probably smaller planes. Smaller planes. Great. Perfect. So there's an airline that goes out of Boston Logan called Cape Air. It's got like seven seats. I think it's eight. And one of them is actually in the cockpit.
And I've been in it. It's a Cessna plane. It's basically a minivan with wings. Dr. Russ Martin, I would quit as your patient. Do you actually get people to do this? Sure. I was going to say it's a lot of fun, but not only is it fun for me, it's fun for them at a certain point because they are embracing their anxiety and saying, I can do this. I'm not going to let it get in my way.
What about shyness? Great. Harder to target. Tends to be longer term. Tends to be focused. Also comorbid with depression. People get a lot more depressed. Because if you're shy, you're more disconnected from others, more isolated, more alone. We're sad.
So often building that person up first is important clinically through more identification and a lot more sharing, not just for the therapist, but also with other people in their world, sometimes posting on social media, whatever it is. But at a certain point, they're going to have to go to the party and not have a martini.
Because the martini is an anxiolytic.
Big word for saying it reduces your anxiety.
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