Dr. Ellen Langer

So another example, you see somebody drop a cane, and so the miserable person doesn't go over and help.

Then the next level two person runs over and helps.

But there's also a level three, better, where that person watches and sees because the person who dropped their cane is going to feel better if he or she can pick it up by themselves.

And you don't want to deny them that.

And so you don't give help that's not really needed.

so level one and three are not the same this they're both not helping but they're very different people interesting one's just kind of like whatever the other one's saying i don't want to rob them of the opportunity of empowering themselves right so and this goes there are so many things i i spend a lot of time with um language that is interesting to me because i think here in the world that we live in today

Most people are not enjoying the lives that they could be enjoying, and they don't know what's available to them.

So many years ago, I was asked to give a sermon in one of the Harvard churches.

Okay, and I say yes to everything.

So I say yes, I'm not religious, and if I were to be religious, I'm Jewish, so what's an appropriate topic?

That's forgiveness.

It sounds sort of religiously.

It's not, but I could get away with it.

So I start to think about forgiveness, and I come up with something that's almost sacrilegious.

If you ask 10 people, is forgiveness good or bad, what are they going to tell you?

Good.

That's good.

If you ask 10 people, is blame good or bad, what are they going to tell you?

Bad.

It's bad.