Dr. Ellen Langer

And so what happens is the lower down you are on the totem pole, the fewer of these things, games, ways of being that you yourself have created, the more you're trying to fit yourself into some form that isn't so comfortable. So we need to appreciate that rules laws. Everything was just somebody's decision about how things should be. And, you know, don't violate them purposely.

But if they don't fit, you know, legality is not the same thing as morality. You know, by law, one was not allowed interracial marriage. By law, one was not allowed to be gay. By law, you know, so on and so forth. One wasn't allowed to drink at one point and so on. These are not moral issues. These are a group of people who are making a decision for the rest of us. If it doesn't hurt, fine.

But if they don't fit, you know, legality is not the same thing as morality. You know, by law, one was not allowed interracial marriage. By law, one was not allowed to be gay. By law, you know, so on and so forth. One wasn't allowed to drink at one point and so on. These are not moral issues. These are a group of people who are making a decision for the rest of us. If it doesn't hurt, fine.

But if they don't fit, you know, legality is not the same thing as morality. You know, by law, one was not allowed interracial marriage. By law, one was not allowed to be gay. By law, you know, so on and so forth. One wasn't allowed to drink at one point and so on. These are not moral issues. These are a group of people who are making a decision for the rest of us. If it doesn't hurt, fine.

But, you know, if it does, fight it. Deviate. At least live the life you want to live.

But, you know, if it does, fight it. Deviate. At least live the life you want to live.

But, you know, if it does, fight it. Deviate. At least live the life you want to live.

It gets tricky because- They're all real, but it's our understanding of them. That varies. So we haven't worked out all of physics yet. Sure. You know, or biology or any of these other things. So I don't think that we should set these aside and say those rules we should follow come hell or high water.

It gets tricky because- They're all real, but it's our understanding of them. That varies. So we haven't worked out all of physics yet. Sure. You know, or biology or any of these other things. So I don't think that we should set these aside and say those rules we should follow come hell or high water.

It gets tricky because- They're all real, but it's our understanding of them. That varies. So we haven't worked out all of physics yet. Sure. You know, or biology or any of these other things. So I don't think that we should set these aside and say those rules we should follow come hell or high water.

We give up some... See, that's... Okay, so that's perfect, Andrew, because we think we know, but are oblivious to the fact that every single... It's a big statement... behavior can be understood in equal dimensions, equal potency as good or bad. Now, so that I can control what you're thinking. So you think that I'm gullible. You could persuade me that I'm gullible.

We give up some... See, that's... Okay, so that's perfect, Andrew, because we think we know, but are oblivious to the fact that every single... It's a big statement... behavior can be understood in equal dimensions, equal potency as good or bad. Now, so that I can control what you're thinking. So you think that I'm gullible. You could persuade me that I'm gullible.

We give up some... See, that's... Okay, so that's perfect, Andrew, because we think we know, but are oblivious to the fact that every single... It's a big statement... behavior can be understood in equal dimensions, equal potency as good or bad. Now, so that I can control what you're thinking. So you think that I'm gullible. You could persuade me that I'm gullible.

I can try my hardest not to be gullible, but I'm going to eventually be gullible. The reason for that is that I value being trusting. And as long as I value being trusting, I'm going to be seen as gullible. As long as you value being flexible, you're going to be inconsistent. As long as you value being stable, you're going to be seen as boring and so on.

I can try my hardest not to be gullible, but I'm going to eventually be gullible. The reason for that is that I value being trusting. And as long as I value being trusting, I'm going to be seen as gullible. As long as you value being flexible, you're going to be inconsistent. As long as you value being stable, you're going to be seen as boring and so on.

I can try my hardest not to be gullible, but I'm going to eventually be gullible. The reason for that is that I value being trusting. And as long as I value being trusting, I'm going to be seen as gullible. As long as you value being flexible, you're going to be inconsistent. As long as you value being stable, you're going to be seen as boring and so on.

And so this is what I said to you before in different terms, that with all that I've – studied, found, found interesting over all these decades, the thing that meant the most to me was the realization that behavior makes sense from the actor's perspective or the actor wouldn't do it.

And so this is what I said to you before in different terms, that with all that I've – studied, found, found interesting over all these decades, the thing that meant the most to me was the realization that behavior makes sense from the actor's perspective or the actor wouldn't do it.

And so this is what I said to you before in different terms, that with all that I've – studied, found, found interesting over all these decades, the thing that meant the most to me was the realization that behavior makes sense from the actor's perspective or the actor wouldn't do it.

Now, if you think about that, that means every single time you're demeaning somebody or yourself or you're coming up with a New Year's resolution, what you're doing is denying the sense of what you were doing. and saying, oh, you should have done something different. Okay.