Dr. Erica Komisar

Daycare raises salivary cortisol levels in children, the studies show, meaning those babies are put into stressful states at a very young age when their brains are developing. Daycare has been known to increase aggression levels. and anxiety and behavioral problems in the school years. And those children are more likely to develop attachment disorders.

Daycare raises salivary cortisol levels in children, the studies show, meaning those babies are put into stressful states at a very young age when their brains are developing. Daycare has been known to increase aggression levels. and anxiety and behavioral problems in the school years. And those children are more likely to develop attachment disorders.

Remember, those first three years when children are so very fragile and vulnerable, taking them away from your body as a primary attachment figure and handing them over to strangers and leaving them there for hours on end will cause your child to have to develop pathological defenses. And that's what those children are forced to do. So it is the least good option of child care.

Remember, those first three years when children are so very fragile and vulnerable, taking them away from your body as a primary attachment figure and handing them over to strangers and leaving them there for hours on end will cause your child to have to develop pathological defenses. And that's what those children are forced to do. So it is the least good option of child care.

So let's talk about what are the better options of child care if you have to use child care. You know how we say breast is best, and it is for a variety of reasons. But the best is your primary attachment figure for the first three years, as much as possible.

So let's talk about what are the better options of child care if you have to use child care. You know how we say breast is best, and it is for a variety of reasons. But the best is your primary attachment figure for the first three years, as much as possible.

Well, no, it can be the father. It's the go-to person who's a sensitive, empathic nurturer. So when that baby's in distress, that baby gets their emotional needs met.

Well, no, it can be the father. It's the go-to person who's a sensitive, empathic nurturer. So when that baby's in distress, that baby gets their emotional needs met.

It can be the father, but first the father has to learn how to be a sensitive. It doesn't come naturally to most men, with rare exception. I have known some patients where the husband, the father, was more sensitive than the mother. It's possible. But in general, instinctually, fathers are not sensitive empathic nurturers because it's against their evolutionary instinct.

It can be the father, but first the father has to learn how to be a sensitive. It doesn't come naturally to most men, with rare exception. I have known some patients where the husband, the father, was more sensitive than the mother. It's possible. But in general, instinctually, fathers are not sensitive empathic nurturers because it's against their evolutionary instinct.

Their evolutionary instinct, if you were an animal on the plains of Africa— You're an Impala. You're a daddy Impala. Your baby is born and it comes out running, because they are. They're like born and you're all running together. You get behind that baby and you're like, get going, buddy. You better get going or you're going to be lunch for that lion. That's a father's instinct is to protect.

Their evolutionary instinct, if you were an animal on the plains of Africa— You're an Impala. You're a daddy Impala. Your baby is born and it comes out running, because they are. They're like born and you're all running together. You get behind that baby and you're like, get going, buddy. You better get going or you're going to be lunch for that lion. That's a father's instinct is to protect.

It's protective aggression, right? That's different than the baby Impala falls down and the mother comes over and licks the baby and says, are you okay, honey? Can I give you a hug? If Impala could talk. So it's a different instinct. So fathers can be taught to be primary attachment figures. But this is why I say it's so very important that we recognize the difference between men and women.

It's protective aggression, right? That's different than the baby Impala falls down and the mother comes over and licks the baby and says, are you okay, honey? Can I give you a hug? If Impala could talk. So it's a different instinct. So fathers can be taught to be primary attachment figures. But this is why I say it's so very important that we recognize the difference between men and women.

If we just think they're exactly the same and we put it – throw a father into the mix with an infant and the mother is going out and the father is staying home, if we don't talk about this stuff and talk about it openly and say – When the baby cries, you have to mirror the baby's emotions. You have to do skin to skin.

If we just think they're exactly the same and we put it – throw a father into the mix with an infant and the mother is going out and the father is staying home, if we don't talk about this stuff and talk about it openly and say – When the baby cries, you have to mirror the baby's emotions. You have to do skin to skin.

You have to soothe the baby, not encourage resilience, not distract the baby, not use discrepant emotions with the baby. If the baby's crying, don't go, oh, you're okay. You'll be fine. No, no. So it's really important if the father's going to stay home that he learns how to be a mother. You know, sometimes gay couples will come to me. And I'll say, you know, two gay men will come.

You have to soothe the baby, not encourage resilience, not distract the baby, not use discrepant emotions with the baby. If the baby's crying, don't go, oh, you're okay. You'll be fine. No, no. So it's really important if the father's going to stay home that he learns how to be a mother. You know, sometimes gay couples will come to me. And I'll say, you know, two gay men will come.

I'll say, which one of you is going to be the mother? Now, that may seem politically incorrect, but someone's got to play that role. You cannot have two fathers for a child. A child needs a mother and a father. If you're going to have two men, then one of them has to play that sensitive empathic role. The other has to play the playful tactile stimulation role.

I'll say, which one of you is going to be the mother? Now, that may seem politically incorrect, but someone's got to play that role. You cannot have two fathers for a child. A child needs a mother and a father. If you're going to have two men, then one of them has to play that sensitive empathic role. The other has to play the playful tactile stimulation role.