Dr. Erica Komisar

So her neighbor, who was her dear friend, she paid to watch her child. And so that person was auntie and that person was like family and was in that child's life forever. So what I say about child care is there are Different levels of importance. So the first, the best is your primary attachment figure. Next best is kinship bonds, family or extended family.

So her neighbor, who was her dear friend, she paid to watch her child. And so that person was auntie and that person was like family and was in that child's life forever. So what I say about child care is there are Different levels of importance. So the first, the best is your primary attachment figure. Next best is kinship bonds, family or extended family.

Someone who has a similar investment to that child as you do.

Someone who has a similar investment to that child as you do.

No, no. Children don't need other kids until the age of three. They do something called parallel play. What they need is one-on-one connection. They need attachment security and they need their emotional needs met by one person, one-on-one. After three, then the beginning of preschool, then they start to actually interact with one another. Until then, they're not playing together.

No, no. Children don't need other kids until the age of three. They do something called parallel play. What they need is one-on-one connection. They need attachment security and they need their emotional needs met by one person, one-on-one. After three, then the beginning of preschool, then they start to actually interact with one another. Until then, they're not playing together.

They're just doing parallel play. So that's another myth. The myth that daycare is good for children for socialization. No, children don't need socialization before three unless their mother's with them. So what I say is do play dates, do play groups, but be within time. Eye gaze or ear shot of a child, meaning there's something called rapprochement, which is emotional refueling.

They're just doing parallel play. So that's another myth. The myth that daycare is good for children for socialization. No, children don't need socialization before three unless their mother's with them. So what I say is do play dates, do play groups, but be within time. Eye gaze or ear shot of a child, meaning there's something called rapprochement, which is emotional refueling.

So when children start to explore, when you've given them emotional security and they feel so secure that you're going to be there, then they start to take chances. They start to take risks. They start to toddle off. That's where the word toddler came from. They toddle away. But guess what they do for emotional security? They look back and they say, oh, she's there. It's okay.

So when children start to explore, when you've given them emotional security and they feel so secure that you're going to be there, then they start to take chances. They start to take risks. They start to toddle off. That's where the word toddler came from. They toddle away. But guess what they do for emotional security? They look back and they say, oh, she's there. It's okay.

And then they keep playing. Or they run back and get a hug and then they run off again. You are their touchstone of security. And that's how children become courageous. That's how they develop the ability to explore and still feel secure.

And then they keep playing. Or they run back and get a hug and then they run off again. You are their touchstone of security. And that's how children become courageous. That's how they develop the ability to explore and still feel secure.

So plasticity... There are certain what we call critical periods of right or social-emotional brain development. One is zero to three, and it's the most important because what's happening is something called neurogenesis. So it's the growth of cells. And your presence as a parent who provides safety and security, buffers your child from stress, regulates their emotions,

So plasticity... There are certain what we call critical periods of right or social-emotional brain development. One is zero to three, and it's the most important because what's happening is something called neurogenesis. So it's the growth of cells. And your presence as a parent who provides safety and security, buffers your child from stress, regulates their emotions,

85%.

85%.

And you being there changes the architecture of that brain. That's how important you are. Like people come up to me in cocktail parties and they'll say to me, ah, I don't have to be there. My baby's just sleeping and pooping and they don't need me. I'm gonna be around when they're talking and walking. I'm like, no, you got it wrong.

And you being there changes the architecture of that brain. That's how important you are. Like people come up to me in cocktail parties and they'll say to me, ah, I don't have to be there. My baby's just sleeping and pooping and they don't need me. I'm gonna be around when they're talking and walking. I'm like, no, you got it wrong.

I'm like, you have to be here now because now is when the cell growth is happening. Every time a baby snuggles and takes the breast and looks at you with their eyes and you sing to them, thousands, millions of synapses are firing. Okay. So you have, think of a garden by three years of age. You're growing a garden.

I'm like, you have to be here now because now is when the cell growth is happening. Every time a baby snuggles and takes the breast and looks at you with their eyes and you sing to them, thousands, millions of synapses are firing. Okay. So you have, think of a garden by three years of age. You're growing a garden.