Dr. Erica Komisar

I know because I just started a garden where I have vegetables and flowers and it's abundant. It's an abundant. I love my garden. This is an abundant garden of brain tissue. Okay. If you do it right, it grows. It overgrows, you know, the flowers, the vegetables. It's growing crazy. Okay. Now they go into childhood. After three years old, they go into childhood.

I know because I just started a garden where I have vegetables and flowers and it's abundant. It's an abundant. I love my garden. This is an abundant garden of brain tissue. Okay. If you do it right, it grows. It overgrows, you know, the flowers, the vegetables. It's growing crazy. Okay. Now they go into childhood. After three years old, they go into childhood.

And from three years old till about nine years old, it's still growing, but it's not growing at the same pace. So say that it's still like growing a little, like the garden grows in one big burst and then little bursts. So from three to nine, it's still growing, right? But not to the same degree as the first critical period of brain development. Now adolescence comes, nine to 25.

And from three years old till about nine years old, it's still growing, but it's not growing at the same pace. So say that it's still like growing a little, like the garden grows in one big burst and then little bursts. So from three to nine, it's still growing, right? But not to the same degree as the first critical period of brain development. Now adolescence comes, nine to 25.

And now you have to prune back the garden because if you don't prune back the cells you don't need, it's as damaging to the brain as if you didn't grow them to begin with. So in these two critical windows, the environment dictates, do the cells grow? Do they get pruned? And When they're really little, you're their environment. You're it. Tag, you're it.

And now you have to prune back the garden because if you don't prune back the cells you don't need, it's as damaging to the brain as if you didn't grow them to begin with. So in these two critical windows, the environment dictates, do the cells grow? Do they get pruned? And When they're really little, you're their environment. You're it. Tag, you're it.

When they're in adolescence, you're a very important part of the environment, but not all of their environment. They have friends. They have school. They have activities, right? And so it's very important if you can get to the first window to get there because you don't know what's going to happen to them and you want to fortify them, right?

When they're in adolescence, you're a very important part of the environment, but not all of their environment. They have friends. They have school. They have activities, right? And so it's very important if you can get to the first window to get there because you don't know what's going to happen to them and you want to fortify them, right?

You want to fortify them so when they get to adolescence, which is really painful and hard and a struggle, that they have the inner resources to cope with adolescence because it's so hard, adolescence, right? And it offers such adversity, social adversity, academic adversity, right? Social media. So both of these periods are important. If you miss the first window.

You want to fortify them so when they get to adolescence, which is really painful and hard and a struggle, that they have the inner resources to cope with adolescence because it's so hard, adolescence, right? And it offers such adversity, social adversity, academic adversity, right? Social media. So both of these periods are important. If you miss the first window.

Yes. The title of my second book, It's called Chicken Little, The Sky Isn't Falling, Raising Resilient Adolescents in the New Age of Anxiety, if that isn't a mouthful. Do you know what the title of the book was supposed to be? It was supposed to be Second Chances.

Yes. The title of my second book, It's called Chicken Little, The Sky Isn't Falling, Raising Resilient Adolescents in the New Age of Anxiety, if that isn't a mouthful. Do you know what the title of the book was supposed to be? It was supposed to be Second Chances.

And the title of being there was supposed to be called The Lost Instinct.

And the title of being there was supposed to be called The Lost Instinct.

You get a second chance. And what do you do? I want people to read the book because it's more nuanced than what I'm saying. A lot of what you should have done in the first three years. You've got to be there. You've got to be there in a different way. You're not going to – I mean, they're not little, little. But when they come home from school, if you are not there –

You get a second chance. And what do you do? I want people to read the book because it's more nuanced than what I'm saying. A lot of what you should have done in the first three years. You've got to be there. You've got to be there in a different way. You're not going to – I mean, they're not little, little. But when they come home from school, if you are not there –

When the door swings open, everybody knows that teenagers close their doors, if they have doors. And that's their way of saying, my defenses are up, go away. If parents work really hard and then they come home and they go, knock, knock, knock, I'm here to spend time with you. How was your day? That door's closed. Closed, baby, closed, closed.

When the door swings open, everybody knows that teenagers close their doors, if they have doors. And that's their way of saying, my defenses are up, go away. If parents work really hard and then they come home and they go, knock, knock, knock, I'm here to spend time with you. How was your day? That door's closed. Closed, baby, closed, closed.

If you aren't there when the door opens on its own, on their terms, if you're not there when they're coming out to get a snack or to take a pee or to take a break from their studying, if you are not there then and open for business, for communication, the door closes again. So it goes back to this idea that children need you when they need you. not when you're personally available.

If you aren't there when the door opens on its own, on their terms, if you're not there when they're coming out to get a snack or to take a pee or to take a break from their studying, if you are not there then and open for business, for communication, the door closes again. So it goes back to this idea that children need you when they need you. not when you're personally available.