Dr. Ethan Kross

Like we give people tools, like I encounter tools, but I learn about them. And then we just don't use them when we need to use them. And so this is a giant problem that scientists have noted for decades. And they've actually developed a framework for helping people go from knowledge to action, from making this emotion regulation something you read about,

to something that you make automatic in your life. And here's how it works. WHOOP is an acronym. So there are a couple of steps. So W, that's the wish. What is your goal? My goal is to not get upset with my, not like have a huge reaction with my kids when they don't listen to me or my wife. Okay, that's the goal. O, the first O, what's the outcome you hope to accomplish if you fulfill this wish?

to something that you make automatic in your life. And here's how it works. WHOOP is an acronym. So there are a couple of steps. So W, that's the wish. What is your goal? My goal is to not get upset with my, not like have a huge reaction with my kids when they don't listen to me or my wife. Okay, that's the goal. O, the first O, what's the outcome you hope to accomplish if you fulfill this wish?

to something that you make automatic in your life. And here's how it works. WHOOP is an acronym. So there are a couple of steps. So W, that's the wish. What is your goal? My goal is to not get upset with my, not like have a huge reaction with my kids when they don't listen to me or my wife. Okay, that's the goal. O, the first O, what's the outcome you hope to accomplish if you fulfill this wish?

Well, I hope our family is, it's a happier family, like we're closer, we have less arguments. The purpose of that O, that next step, is to energize you, to really kind of show you what's at stake here.

Well, I hope our family is, it's a happier family, like we're closer, we have less arguments. The purpose of that O, that next step, is to energize you, to really kind of show you what's at stake here.

Well, I hope our family is, it's a happier family, like we're closer, we have less arguments. The purpose of that O, that next step, is to energize you, to really kind of show you what's at stake here.

Yeah, to really commit you to engaging in this pursuit. Now let's get to the second O, which is the obstacle. All right, well, what are the obstacles that might stand in the way from you achieving this goal and the outcome that would come with it? Well, when I hear them talk back to me or get ugly with each other, it instantly affects me.

Yeah, to really commit you to engaging in this pursuit. Now let's get to the second O, which is the obstacle. All right, well, what are the obstacles that might stand in the way from you achieving this goal and the outcome that would come with it? Well, when I hear them talk back to me or get ugly with each other, it instantly affects me.

Yeah, to really commit you to engaging in this pursuit. Now let's get to the second O, which is the obstacle. All right, well, what are the obstacles that might stand in the way from you achieving this goal and the outcome that would come with it? Well, when I hear them talk back to me or get ugly with each other, it instantly affects me.

It reminds me of things from my childhood that I didn't like, and I react impulsively. All right, now we've identified the chief obstacle that stands in the way. Now let's get to the P, which is a plan. But it's not a specific plan. It's what we call an if-then plan.

It reminds me of things from my childhood that I didn't like, and I react impulsively. All right, now we've identified the chief obstacle that stands in the way. Now let's get to the P, which is a plan. But it's not a specific plan. It's what we call an if-then plan.

It reminds me of things from my childhood that I didn't like, and I react impulsively. All right, now we've identified the chief obstacle that stands in the way. Now let's get to the P, which is a plan. But it's not a specific plan. It's what we call an if-then plan.

If I see my daughters fighting with each other or talking disrespectfully to my wife and I, then, and then you plug in your shifter, then I will... Think about how I'm going to feel about this a year from now. Or then I'm going to broaden my perspective by recognizing their kids, their brains are still developing, they don't have great control yet.

If I see my daughters fighting with each other or talking disrespectfully to my wife and I, then, and then you plug in your shifter, then I will... Think about how I'm going to feel about this a year from now. Or then I'm going to broaden my perspective by recognizing their kids, their brains are still developing, they don't have great control yet.

If I see my daughters fighting with each other or talking disrespectfully to my wife and I, then, and then you plug in your shifter, then I will... Think about how I'm going to feel about this a year from now. Or then I'm going to broaden my perspective by recognizing their kids, their brains are still developing, they don't have great control yet.

And you just plug in the thens that you think are going to work best for you. And you actually write that out. you then rehearse it a few times. And what the research shows is that engaging in that exercise dramatically improves people's ability to activate this knowledge, to use these tools Or whatever the tools are that are in their plan when they actually need them.

And you just plug in the thens that you think are going to work best for you. And you actually write that out. you then rehearse it a few times. And what the research shows is that engaging in that exercise dramatically improves people's ability to activate this knowledge, to use these tools Or whatever the tools are that are in their plan when they actually need them.

And you just plug in the thens that you think are going to work best for you. And you actually write that out. you then rehearse it a few times. And what the research shows is that engaging in that exercise dramatically improves people's ability to activate this knowledge, to use these tools Or whatever the tools are that are in their plan when they actually need them.

Interestingly enough, this is something very similar to what the Navy SEALs do before they have missions. So they will sit down in a group. They will first specify what's their goal. What's the outcome they hope to achieve? Then they'll list out what are all the obstacles that might stand in the way. For every obstacle, they come up with a plan. If this happens, then we're going to do this.