Dr. Gabor Maté

And so you've got to bring it out.

Yeah, what you suppress becomes more depressed, right?

No, no, no, no, no, not at all.

If a five-year-old kid came to you and you were the uncle,

Uncle Louis, this guy did such and such to me, and I'm really scared and hurt.

Would you say to them, oh, no big deal?

No.

Think of all the other kids that worse things have happened to.

Would you say that?

Why wouldn't you say that?

But you see, that's what you're saying to yourself.

When you say that it's no big deal, you're saying to the five-year-old that was hurt, it doesn't matter.

In other words, there's no self-compassion there.

What you would never say to anybody else, you're saying to yourself.

And one of the impacts of trauma is lack of self-compassion.

And again, I...

If I may mention my book, The Myth of Normal, I talk about that, about this idea of self-compassion.

And I see it all the time.

And so when somebody says to me, no big deal, you know, I say, okay, take any other child in your position, plug them into that situation and tell them it's no big deal.

And of course, I wouldn't.