Dr. Hilary Goldsher
speaker
72 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard May 2025
last heard May 2025
Dr. Hilary Goldsher’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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besides someone who only treats or also treats perpetrators or alleged perpetrators, you have as much insight as possible relative to the normal practitioner into the world of and the patterns of abusers. So while you might not work directly with them, you have a lot of anecdotal and clinical data from your work with victims, collaborative efforts with all of the people involved.
I would say it's somewhere in the middle. I don't think it happens a lot in my clinical and anecdotal experience. That's quite a thing to put yourself through to come out as a victim and have it not be true. Um, and there are other psychological factors going on. If that's the case, it's not unheard of.
It, it, it hasn't never played out double negative, but so that it, it occurs less than occasionally, uh, It's a pretty small amount. A very small amount. And in this case, in the Diddy case, there is a myriad of, it appears, of collaborating evidence that's been submitted in court in terms of eyewitnesses and texts and videos, et cetera, that suggest this isn't the case.
But yes, it has occurred before.
Yes, and I'm going to deliberately oversimplify my answer because anyone in this position is completely overwhelmed and has their nervous system triggered and their inability to think or consider options is limited. if almost non-existent. So my piece of advice, my first edict is tell a safe other, tell a safe other.
If you can just do that, if you can just do that, it opens up the door for your experience to be mirrored back to you as the reality of what it is and for resources to begin to be curated.
So if you hear this information, err on the side of believing and say that out loud.
If you are the safe other, err on the side of believing and say it. I believe you. And that is not okay. Those are the two things that you should say. I believe you. It is your right to notice, your right to say it's not okay. And then I will help you. And a safe other should not know how they should go about helping someone because that's not their area of expertise.
But find someone who does, you know, talk to your primary care physician, Google therapist in your neck of the woods that specializes in domestic violence.
there are free or incredibly low fee clinics in most cities. If you're in a very rural part of the country, that might not be true, but perhaps the safe other can take you to the nearest one. So Googling free and or a low fee clinic for mental health will get you in front of a provider or a clinician that can start to help you curate resources. There are
Safe houses also for domestic abuse survivors in various cities. Again, not in the smaller ones, but that's another thing that your safe other can help you find. Is there a resource locally or somewhere that you can commute to as a first step?
Thanks for having me and thanks for your bravery and sharing your story.
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