Dr. Hillary Goldsher

Yeah.

Well, and there's the double shame that you both were forced to experience, which is the

original weight gain, which appeared to me to be subtle and in the normal range.

And then there's the experience of having to have it called out in this unceremonious way in your workplace and then publicly and have it not held up in any way, shape or form other than for public consumption.

And so I can see how it jumpstarted an intense shame cycle made further shameful by the need for it to be suppressed and or

laughed at or accepted.

And, you know, I wanted to hold up that the distinction seems important.

There's

weight gain that occurs in puberty and as people are getting older and that's normal.

And young people are finding their way around their body, around self-care, around food consumption, around exercise, and that's normal.

And then there's disordered eating.

And sometimes that appears as weight gain, sometimes it doesn't, right?

But if there's disordered eating, you have a dysfunctional relationship with food and

that's a mental health issue and typically a symptom related to something else, right?

Related to depression or related to anxiety or related to trauma.

And so the food piece is just a tentacle of something much more serious and like, like alcohol or like drugs, et cetera.

So for that to become the highlight, the center of,

doesn't allow the full exploration of what was happening.

If there was disordered eating occurring, which I can't tell from looking at both of you during those seasons, you seem like normal human beings moving through space.

But if there was, it doesn't give you an opportunity to look at, well, what's, what's the serving and what's the serving to,