Dr. James Hollis

And then if you remember that, then you're a little more likely to say, you know, I really don't know what's going on here, but I have to pay more attention to what I think is

wanting expression through my child and support that rather than assuming that they're going to grow up and replicate our lives and our values, as I've said before.

Yeah, in a way, yes.

And those that survive are not necessarily good marriages in the sense in which the person is growing and developing.

They may be stuck.

They may be afraid of the alternatives.

They may be bound by economics, for example, or cultural forms.

So again, from outside, you don't know what's happening inside the soul of that individual.

And it's very important for us to not judge them for that reason.

Yes.

That's why I said earlier, many of the people in history that we would admire had difficult lives.

But we admire them because they stuck to some value that was central to who they were.

And they lived that, maybe at great cost, but they lived that through.

whatever suffering they had to experience.

Again, from outside, we don't know, do we, when we see some cultural figure out there.

Maybe they're manipulative.

Maybe they're caught in a complex of some kind.

We don't know from outside.

You have to say, I mean, one of the shadow issues is how often people will live through a celebrity or live through a pop figure in some way, maybe imitate that person.

Again, for a child, that's natural and normal.