Dr. Jeremy Nobel
speaker
38 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Mar 2025
last heard Mar 2025
Dr. Jeremy Nobel’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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It's not just the classic four types of creative expressions that we often think of, visual art, language art, movement, and music, but the creative activities of using your imagination to express yourself in daily life. So, you know, what kind of decoration do you put on a cake that you make for your kid's birthday, right? That's an imaginative creative expression.
And so is for many people, textile arts, knitting, crocheting, quilting. These are all ways to share your stories with others and connect. But there's really some very exciting new neurophysiologic research that when you do creative expression and interact with the arts,
it stimulates the same parts of our brain that form our judgments and our experiences of our social connections, how we literally make sense of the social environment around us. And so it's quite clear that creative expression literally changes how we make sense of our social opportunities and what otherwise could be seen as risky interactions with others start becoming...
kind of interesting interactions they provide a sense of possible joy um curiosity delight and ultimately connection so that's one thing that the arts do is they change our brains but they also change our minds coming up why loneliness and trauma are linked and how to push past the fear of vulnerability stick around
Well, you know, so difference is one of the territories that I cover in my book because I wanted to identify some kind of areas of social experience where you're at risk for spiraling into serious loneliness. And difference is one of those. So you mentioned, you know, it could be gender identity. It could be race.
It could be, you know, are you a relatively new person in the United States, you know, a newcomer family? But it all comes down to feeling that you're systematically excluded because of some characteristic. And the way you kind of push back against that is, first of all, by recognizing that it's traumatic to be systematically excluded.
to actually recognize that it's not your fault that you're lonely. And fortunately, we are recognizing as a society the challenge of difference and beginning to have conversations about it and opening up pathways for people, no matter how excluded they may feel, to share their personal stories about that in a way that they don't have to fear the rejection, shame, and guilt.
So why is it so hard to take the first step to sharing who we are with other people? And I think a lot of it has to do with individuals' early experiences. If you've had a stressful upbringing or a stressful experience, other points in your life.
One of the things that often happens when you have these traumas, because that's what they are, injury, pain on a sustained or significant basis, we tend to push ourselves away from other people. We don't want to risk getting hurt again.
And so that's why having a little bit of a catalyst for that, whether it's the kind of exciting, fun activity of a social creative making experience or even watching a film with some people and sharing your thoughts and then maybe expressing yourself creatively. If we can just provide just that little nudge for people, right? to take that first step. Very hard for some, easy for others.
Then I think it becomes quite reinforcing because it's often quite pleasurable. It's joyous to feel connection. It increases dopamine levels to tell our story. It's a very positive experience.
And so part of my goal in Project Unlonely, in this book, in this conversation with you, Allison, is to encourage people to take those risks, tolerate that discomfort of disclosure and see where it leads them.
Share something about yourself. It doesn't have to be the biggest, darkest secret of your life, but just something you think other people might find interesting and compelling and see where it goes.
Do a drawing, a doodle, a dance move. Make something that puts your thoughts and feelings and vision about who you are and what matters into a tangible artifact that then can express those thoughts and feelings to others.
What you're thinking about, what motivates you, what excites you, share that to someone else and invite them to share back. That's a conversation.
Love walking on the beach? Find other people who love walking on the beach. And while you do that, have conversations.
I think takeaway number five is recognizing that other people's loneliness matters also. And if you see someone who's experiencing loneliness that you think is in a spiral of loneliness, be kind.
My pleasure, Allison. Stay connected.
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