Want to be less lonely? Here are five tips.
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What are the statistics on loneliness in America?
Hello, hello. I'm Brittany Luce, and you're listening to It's Been a Minute from NPR, a show about what's going on in culture and why it doesn't happen by accident. Do you relate? Well, you may be lonely, but you're not alone. One third of Americans report feeling lonely at least once a week. And 16% of Americans report feeling lonely all or most of the time. A lot of attention is being paid to loneliness right now. After the former American Surgeon General declared a loneliness epidemic, news organizations from The New York Times to The Atlantic to NPR jumped to cover it. And it's hard to say definitively if loneliness has gotten worse. But what we do know is that a significant amount of people are feeling it.
And I know a lot of you have been feeling lonely too. That's because so many of you wrote to me sharing your own stories about loneliness and how you got out of it. It was really incredible how many of you responded. It really showed, I guess, how not alone we all are in our loneliness and that there's no one way to reconnect with people. Here's what just a few of you said.
What personal stories can help us understand loneliness?
I started college in 2020, so during the pandemic, and that was definitely a very lonely time to be in what is supposed to be such a social place. And I decided that I needed to do something to stop from being so miserable. I decided to join a sorority, and I was never the type of person to join a sorority. Did it end up helping my loneliness? Yeah, I would definitely say so. To beat loneliness is to feel community and belonging.
I'm a 63-year-old lonely man. It's gotten much better. I've found gym classes and dance classes and movement classes, meeting people and going for walks with or without the dog.
Hi, my name is Lisa. I'm a middle-aged divorced woman, and I was really lonely. When I decided I wanted to make a change, I didn't even really know where to start. So I actually got into local live music. I didn't have anyone to go with, you know, because that's kind of what happens when you're lonely. So I started going to these things alone. And what I found is when you go enough times, you start seeing the same people. And then you start saying hi to those people because you see them a lot. And then next thing you know, you have friends.
Thanks to Corinne Averill, Rick Klebanow, and Lisa Stewart for sharing with us. Now, my friends at NPR's Life Kit did some really incredible reporting about how to get out of loneliness too. I wanted to share it with you because I think their advice lines up with a lot of what you all were sharing with me. Here's Mariel Sagara, host of Life Kit.
Hey, everybody. It's Mariel. Raise your hand if you've been lonely before. I'm guessing if we were in a room together, every hand would be raised. It's a hard thing for a lot of us to admit because we may have gotten messages that that's needy or weak, but everybody gets lonely.
The challenge isn't to avoid loneliness, but to see it as a signal. Just like thirst is a signal you need hydration, loneliness is a signal you need human connection.
Jeremy Nobel is a primary care physician and public health practitioner at Harvard, and he created an initiative called Project Unlonely, which partners with campuses and communities to address loneliness and social isolation. He says the problem is if we don't satisfy that longing to be with other people, we start to withdraw even more.
The signal just gets stronger and it starts taking you into some, what you might call spiraling circles of increased anxiety around connection.
That can lead to depression or problems with alcohol and drugs.
And we know that significant sustained loneliness also increases risk of physical illness too. Increases risk of heart attack, stroke, or death from either by 30%. increases the risk of dying early by 30%.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
What are the statistics on loneliness in America?
0:26–1:55
2
What personal stories can help us understand loneliness?
1:55–4:54
3
What are the different types of loneliness?
4:54–5:27
4
How can loneliness signal a need for connection?
5:27–7:28
5
What practical steps can we take to combat loneliness?
7:28–16:47
6
How do technology and social media affect our loneliness?
16:47–20:19