Dr. John Duffy
speaker
736 appearances
2 recordings
1 series
first heard Oct 2019
last heard Jan 2025
Dr. John Duffy’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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In fairness, if you think about it, that all feels really, really reasonable from a parent's point of view.
And I don't know if it's reasonable to say extract all that judgment.
But I think it's important to recognize our children aren't just trying to test our acumen as parents.
And sometimes I work with parents where they really feel like that's what's at play here.
More, they engage in things because those things matter.
support their well-being or their self-esteem and they might not have other areas of their life in which that happens for this young man in particular that pot smoking dueling vaping crowd was really really welcoming to him and he was struggling to connect socially with anybody else he had tried out for a team that he did not make and he thought that was going to be his saving grace and and his social life and it turned out not to be
And that that group was super welcoming to him that was just hanging around in the basements.
And this making music was kind of a replacement for him for the athletics.
And he didn't.
It wasn't a full replacement, but he felt decent about himself knowing, oh, I can create something from scratch.
It might not be great, but I like the idea of that.
So I encourage the parents, well, don't shut that down altogether because do I think he's going to be a DJ or a rapper?
Maybe, but probably not.
But is there a seed of something being sown there that is meaningful to him?
Yes, probably.
You know what I mean?
There's some creative element that he is drawn to.
And if we shut that down, we might be creating more anxiety and more distance than we want to.
So that's where taking the judgment away is super important because if we judge and we assume our child is just being difficult for the sake of being difficult, I think we're missing a big point.
They engage in things because they're drawn to them.
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