Dr. John Gottman

Yes, but I'm going to give it to you more in phenomenological language than in brain talk. Because what is my experience actually when I am attacked? Here is this person that I usually or that I used to feel sees me. gets me, understands me. And now you're saying things that make me feel like you don't get me at all. And I feel completely lonely next to you.

Yes, but I'm going to give it to you more in phenomenological language than in brain talk. Because what is my experience actually when I am attacked? Here is this person that I usually or that I used to feel sees me. gets me, understands me. And now you're saying things that make me feel like you don't get me at all. And I feel completely lonely next to you.

Yes, but I'm going to give it to you more in phenomenological language than in brain talk. Because what is my experience actually when I am attacked? Here is this person that I usually or that I used to feel sees me. gets me, understands me. And now you're saying things that make me feel like you don't get me at all. And I feel completely lonely next to you.

And I feel completely disconnected from you. And I'm thinking, I can't take another moment of this. This is the phenomenology of what happens when the truths are butting heads. You know, you can do brain talk about that, but it doesn't really give you the actual experience of people. I want to shake you. I want to drill my truth into you is one response.

And I feel completely disconnected from you. And I'm thinking, I can't take another moment of this. This is the phenomenology of what happens when the truths are butting heads. You know, you can do brain talk about that, but it doesn't really give you the actual experience of people. I want to shake you. I want to drill my truth into you is one response.

And I feel completely disconnected from you. And I'm thinking, I can't take another moment of this. This is the phenomenology of what happens when the truths are butting heads. You know, you can do brain talk about that, but it doesn't really give you the actual experience of people. I want to shake you. I want to drill my truth into you is one response.

I'll repeat it one more time, exactly the same as the time before. Why would this time succeed? Beats me. But I'll say it once more just to see if I can get inside of you means if I can pour my heart, my feelings, my sadness, my disappointments inside of you so that you can get it and then let me know of that. It's really extremely rich, actually, what happens in those moments.

I'll repeat it one more time, exactly the same as the time before. Why would this time succeed? Beats me. But I'll say it once more just to see if I can get inside of you means if I can pour my heart, my feelings, my sadness, my disappointments inside of you so that you can get it and then let me know of that. It's really extremely rich, actually, what happens in those moments.

I'll repeat it one more time, exactly the same as the time before. Why would this time succeed? Beats me. But I'll say it once more just to see if I can get inside of you means if I can pour my heart, my feelings, my sadness, my disappointments inside of you so that you can get it and then let me know of that. It's really extremely rich, actually, what happens in those moments.

And it depends if we think that it is disconnect because there's conflict or it's simply that we have a very different view of the story. So when I meet you, it's easier when we just meet in the beginning and I say, Drew, what did you think of this play? What did you think of this movie? And you tell me, and I say, oh, I didn't see that at all. I saw something very different.

And it depends if we think that it is disconnect because there's conflict or it's simply that we have a very different view of the story. So when I meet you, it's easier when we just meet in the beginning and I say, Drew, what did you think of this play? What did you think of this movie? And you tell me, and I say, oh, I didn't see that at all. I saw something very different.

And it depends if we think that it is disconnect because there's conflict or it's simply that we have a very different view of the story. So when I meet you, it's easier when we just meet in the beginning and I say, Drew, what did you think of this play? What did you think of this movie? And you tell me, and I say, oh, I didn't see that at all. I saw something very different.

But don't you think that this character was really terrible? And you say, no, I actually think that character was really terrible. And we are interested in each other because there's a certain distance between us still that allows me to listen to you and you to me without thinking if he says so, what does that mean for me? How does that reflect back on me?

But don't you think that this character was really terrible? And you say, no, I actually think that character was really terrible. And we are interested in each other because there's a certain distance between us still that allows me to listen to you and you to me without thinking if he says so, what does that mean for me? How does that reflect back on me?

But don't you think that this character was really terrible? And you say, no, I actually think that character was really terrible. And we are interested in each other because there's a certain distance between us still that allows me to listen to you and you to me without thinking if he says so, what does that mean for me? How does that reflect back on me?

But after a few years or when we are in stress for all kinds of reasons of stress and you say, I didn't hear that at all. That's not what they said. And I'm like, how can you say that? I mean, this is exactly what he said. And on we go. And at that moment, you're right. We are in fight flight mode.

But after a few years or when we are in stress for all kinds of reasons of stress and you say, I didn't hear that at all. That's not what they said. And I'm like, how can you say that? I mean, this is exactly what he said. And on we go. And at that moment, you're right. We are in fight flight mode.

But after a few years or when we are in stress for all kinds of reasons of stress and you say, I didn't hear that at all. That's not what they said. And I'm like, how can you say that? I mean, this is exactly what he said. And on we go. And at that moment, you're right. We are in fight flight mode.

But fight flight mode is actually very active, but it doesn't give you enough of the relational description. What's happening inside of me and with you and between us, that is the relational narrative. And so I speak a bit of a different language on that.

But fight flight mode is actually very active, but it doesn't give you enough of the relational description. What's happening inside of me and with you and between us, that is the relational narrative. And so I speak a bit of a different language on that.